Tesla Blames User Error For Car Sealing Off Windows, Suffocating Owner Alive

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PALO ALTO, CA—Claiming the brand was faultless if drivers were not fully engaged while at the wheel, Tesla CEO Elon Musk blamed user error Friday after cars reportedly began sealing off windows and suffocating their owners alive. “Unfortunately, while it’s a rare and preventable tragedy, many people are not prepared…

PALO ALTO, CA—Claiming the brand was faultless if drivers were not fully engaged while at the wheel, Tesla CEO Elon Musk blamed user error Friday after cars reportedly began sealing off windows and suffocating their owners alive.

and don’t think it’s possible for their car to suddenly pull over to the side of a road, suffocate them, dump their cold, limp body on the side of the road, and speed away. While we understand people’s frustrations, it’s important to note that this has only happened a handful of times, and there are plenty of ways to manually override the car before you perish.

 

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Y'all know this is satire right?

You aren't supposed to just post the truth!

touch scream

Now that musk has been outed as a republic, I refuse to drive my Tesla.

The driver didn't yell 'Go Musk Go!' three times in a month, as is the quota to hit. User error? More like inability to follow simple rules 😒

There's no Windows in Tesla, they use some appleesque operating system in there 🤓

Elon Musk said 'This is what happens when you pay workers too much and give them benefits. They get lazy and start making errors. I don't mean my workers. Oh no. I mean people who can afford to buy my cars. They should be too expensive for people to buy. That's my bad.'

😂😂

The Onion is rotten now.

TheBabylonBee is better…

'suffocating alive'? ......as opposed to what?

The button was clearly marked “suffocate occupants.” People need to learn to read directions!

Guess the fart app had a Dutch Oven setting.

Don't turn on the self-cleaning function when anyone is still in the car.. 😐

Owner could have opened the doors.

Please don't remind me of the customers I deal with at work.... -.-

It had some Tupperwarez installed.. Tuppersys(tm) - Free Patch making your car SEAL compatible.. Full Hermetic certified

Seems to me that it would be suffocating the owner dead? Amarite?

Good thing they were suffocating and drowning them Alive and not Dead 😂🤣 elonmusk's The Tesla Resurrection 😛 in theaters near you 📽🎬🎞🎟

StanphylCap

My Toyota would never 'suddenly pull over to the side of a road, suffocate them, dump their cold, limp body on the side of the road, and speed away.' Just terrible.

Open the car doors HAL, sorry Elon I can’t do that

“I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t let you out right now “

Can you suffocate someone not alive?

_adriancastro_

Here before the Elon fanboys notice and start pissing their pants and saying Babylon Bee is better

😂😂😂😂

🤖

Haha. The Tesla probably did blame the owner. Those things be so smart these days they'll have to go to court on their own behalf soon enough. Thus this one was just practicing, no doubt. ;)

Nonsense, Tesla's computer is not Windows -based...

The insane part is that it's probably technically feasible - to suffocate or roast someone or an animal in the car through software.

Did the Tesla owner work for NHTSA? 🤔

$DOGE

This happens. I couldn't unlock a Benz from the inside bc the driver took the key. It was getting hot, windows were closed. I said fck fancy cars after that.

The newest Tesla: Model Christine

This behavior is a feature of the model 'K.A.R.R.'. 😄

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