“Tell Me, What Bothers You More: the Sex or the Lies?”

He had cheated, again. We had been together for six years, married for three and I had spent more than half of that time questioning his faithfulness or picking up the broken pieces when I’d discovered another bout of infidelity. Our marriage was falling apart. Everyone close to me said I needed to leave him, to take the kids and go.

I also knew that he hadn’t been the only one lying. I had been lying, too—even to myself. So, I decided to explore why people cheat, what non-monogamous relationships look like and why many couples are choosing to embrace this lifestyle. We went to seminars and watched docu-series. I read every book I could find on the topic, including The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt and Love in Abundance by Kathy Labriola.

I respect that many married couples will argue that that’s the way things are when you commit yourself to someone for the rest of your life. That not everything will be roses and rainbows. I don’t disagree. My husband and I haven’t had the perfect marriage—I don’t truly believe anyone has. But here’s the thing. We really only have three options when it comes to marital troubles: Get a divorce, try to make things better or plod along unhappily.

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