Ted Cruz Won't Say Whether He'd Blow a Man to End Global Hunger

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Just one blowjob is all we're asking for, and the stakes have never been higher.

employees “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM” so he could get back to D.C. on time to ask incoming Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson if babies are racist, and who would rather watch the whole world suffer than suck a penis.

For the record, Jezebel writers have historically been willing to take one for the team to end mass suffering. Asked, one of the least fuckable men on the planet, if it meant ending his presidential campaign in 2016, Anna Merlan confirmed that yes, she would suck it up and do what was necessary. She wrote:

For that reason, I would, if called upon by my country, if caught on a day when I’m feeling particularly patriotic, consider having sex with Donald Trump. I would need an excellent glass of wine beforehand, I would need to be high as hell, it would have to be in a position where I didn’t have to see his face, and I would need a guarantee that it wouldn’t last longer than like two minutes.

 

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The sum of the IQs of the entire Jezebel stuff can not possibly be more than 80. A potato is smarter than any writer at your magazine.

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Ted Cruz Won't Commit to Pleasuring a Man to End World HungerOne simple blowjob could feed everyone forever. Extremely easy question!
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Regnery announces deal with Sen. Cruz to publish book exposing 'how the Left weaponized' the justice systemSen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, joined with Regnery Publishing to publish his latest book, Justice Corrupted: How the Left Has Weaponized Our Legal System, which is slated for a Sept. 13 release. tedcruz 🆘☠️🆘Apr 12: 1,716 NEW TX COVID INFECTED 🆘 6,777,104 TOTAL 🆘 88,116 TX COVID DEAD - 29,896 MORE THAN ALL USA VIETNAM WAR DEAD 🆘 WORST TX DISASTER EVER 🆘 CruzKnew Jan 24, 2020 Senate COVID BRIEFING! DID LoudMouth WARN TX OF IMMINENT, CATASTROPHIC PANDEMIC? Hell, NO! NADA! tedcruz TedCruzTexasCoward Regnery is a white nationalist that helps bank roll Cruz.
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