Teacher Just Hopes They Never Google Him

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 21 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 12%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

KETTERING, OH—After completing his first day at Fairmont High School on Tuesday, history teacher Ted Wilkinson reportedly spent most of the evening desperately praying that none of his new students ever feel inclined to Google him. "No doubt about it, if one of them decides to look me up, that's all she wrote," said Wilkinson, noting that the consequences might be even worse if anyone thought to run a Google image search on him, "God forbid with the SafeSearch filter turned off." "I mean, they wouldn't, right? Why would any of those kids bother Googling me? There's no reason to think they would." Sources confirmed a panicking Wilkinson later updated his résumé after realizing that when you type his name into Google, it's the first result.

KETTERING, OH—After completing his first day at Fairmont High School on Tuesday, history teacher Ted Wilkinson reportedly spent most of the evening desperately praying that none of his new students ever feel inclined to Google him.

"No doubt about it, if one of them decides to look me up, that's all she wrote," said Wilkinson, noting that the consequences might be even worse if anyone thought to run a Google image search on him, "God forbid with the SafeSearch filter turned off." "I mean, they wouldn't, right? Why would any of those kids bother Googling me? There's no reason to think they would.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

is that beto

mugshots is a fun website!

SEsq212 POLIV411 gbgary54 Dstrang63

What has he done?

Cosmosa_ or instagram lol

Is this JohnnyOatley?

In year 8 at school we were Googling the names of people in our class for fun and it turned out one girl had the same name as a porn star.

Now that’s when you use the fake news excuse.

Don't we all?

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Exclusive: Google shut down a service it provided to wireless carriers over fears of privacy issuesGoogle shut down a service it provided to wireless carriers globally that showed them weak spots in their network coverage, sources told Reuters. Reuters I am running an AI tech company that specializes in efficiency for businesses. I would love to contribute to your platform.
Source: BusinessInsider - 🏆 729. / 51 Read more »

Crisis Pregnancy Centers Can Still Manipulate Google Ads, Despite Policy TweaksBack in May, Google pledged to change its digital ad programs to prevent crisis pregnancy centers—the most evasive trick of the anti-abortion movement—from targeting pregnant people with misleading honeypot ads. Apparently there’s still a loophole these organizations can use to continue their bullshitting.
Source: Jezebel - 🏆 153. / 63 Read more »

Top Silicon Valley investor who made a fortune on Google compares IPO bankers to ticket scalpersSequoia's Michael Moritz says that direct listings worked for Spotify and Slack and will become more common for companies with 'courage and intelligence.'
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »

Google Stadia: All the Games Coming to Streaming PlatformGoogle Stadia: All the games coming to streaming platform
Source: THR - 🏆 411. / 53 Read more »

Trump tweets without evidence that Google 'manipulated' votes in the 2016 election and 'should be sued'Leaked documents from Google give fresh ammo to conservative lawmakers who have already accused Google and other tech companies of political bias. Good luck with that case! OneTermTrump The MSM did the same thing with Russians 😆😅😂🤣 “tweet came after a whistleblower released internal documents to conservative group Project Veritas, which purported to show bias in Google's search results.” = isn’t that evidence?
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »

Google and Gmail are down for thousands of users, mostly in the United StatesGoogle and its popular email service Gmail experienced issues on Monday, according to reports on social media and the website Down Detector. Well this sucks It’s the Russians! LMAO!!! techinsider Not down in EMEA Region!
Source: BusinessInsider - 🏆 729. / 51 Read more »