Study: 86% Of Families Hoarse From Screaming By Time They Arrive At Outlet Mall

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SCHAUMBURG, IL—Concluding that it didn’t matter whether the car ride was five minutes down the block or 30 minutes down the highway, a new study published Thursday in The Journal Of The American Medical Association found that 86% of families were hoarse from screaming by the time they arrived at the outlet mall. “Our…

SCHAUMBURG, IL—Concluding that it didn’t matter whether the car ride was five minutes down the block or 30 minutes down the highway, a new study published Thursday infound that 86% of families were hoarse from screaming by the time they arrived at the outlet mall.

“Our analysis of hundreds of families from across the United States indicates that the vast majority began bickering the second they piled into the car, soon increasing the intensity of their voices until they were shouting over one another at volumes exceeding 90 decibels,” said laryngologist and lead author Andrew Weiss, whose research team measured temporary vocal cord damage in subjects who had shouted phrases such as,” before they even entered the Cheesecake Factory parking lot.

 

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To play devil's advocate, 14% of families will NOT arrive at the outlet mall, hoarse from screaming. Fake Ngues Media would rather focus on the 86%

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