Stories from the Trump Bible

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Shouts & Murmurs by Bruce Headlam and Stephen Sherrill: And Jesus said to Pontius Pilate, “This trial is very unfair. You are a corrupt judge, and your wife is a very nasty woman.”

Donald Trump is selling a “God Bless the USA” Bible for $60. The Great Flood Now, Noah was very faithful, so God commanded him to build a mighty ark, telling him, “Take your family and two of every living thing.” But there was one animal that Noah couldn’t catch, and that was the beautiful unicorn, a white horse with a horn on its head. They’re very tricky, those unicorns. They hid from Noah and perished in the flood.

They’re just in smaller baskets. That won’t fool anybody.” Jesus put the money in his robe and said, “Tell the multitude if they go home now we’ve got something much better than loaves and fish for them. They’re going to be very happy, trust me.” The apostles told the five thousand what Jesus had said and, lo, they were satisfied and left without eating. The apostles threw themselves on the ground and praised Jesus, for they had witnessed a miracle.

Source: Law Daily Report (lawdailyreport.net)

 

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