Self-Defense Experts Say Pushing Assailant’s Gun Against Own Forehead Still Best Way To Show You Don’t Care Whether You Live Or Die

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing the unmistakable clarity of the dramatic conflict resolution maneuver, top self-defense experts confirmed Monday that seizing the barrel of your assailant’s gun and pushing it against your own forehead remains the foremost method of demonstrating that you no longer care whether you live or die.

“Even the average citizen with no martial arts training or combat experience can place their head against the muzzle of a brandished firearm while shouting ‘Do it, if you have the guts’ in order to take control of an armed confrontation,” said defense trainer Kim Marco, stressing that such tactics should be in any street-smart person’s playbook along with pressing one’s neck against an aggressor’s knife until one’s blood is drawn or driving into oncoming traffic during a carjacking.

Damn Hollywood 🤦🏻‍♂️😂

Genuinely have thought about doing this

F*ckin do it you p*ssy 😂😭

DO IT DO IT PULL THE TRIGGGGAARRR

There are over 70m people who could believe this.

How many S-D Experts have proved this theory 🤔

This also allows for higher chances at disarming the gunperson.

Works every time.

Guy looks like a wimp anyway

No sarcasm, a friend of mine has done this twice and it fucking worked.

I thought it was voting republican

his soul:

Its the best way to get a bullet between your ears!

This happened to my buddy Eric.

'if they shoot you its just assisted suicide'

Lmao just go for my left temporal lobe I’m sick and tired with reasoning with dumbasses

Yea that's Monday vibe

tomgreenlive No one is talking about how convincing it is when you place the gun into your own mouth! Talk about awkward! That's truly how you convey that you don't give a fuck!

tomgreenlive I'll take my chances, and aim it at their head instead if possible.

Why hasn't a film or series ever turned this trope on its head? I want to see a villain actually blow the person's brains out. That would really create an interesting character set up.

AliceAvizandum

You try it first, Onion.

Best way to die. Even you don't want to die.

Perhaps the best part is that there's a kernel of truth to that. Most of the time, the guy with the gun is doing it solely for a power trip. Doing that in response takes a chunk of that power away.

That's what I always do, but they never shoot me.

Also fool them into thinking it’s some sort of sexual thrill for you.

Bang ‼️ Bang ‼️

We're not doing the putting it in our mouth thing because of COVID right?

I cant believe the Onion is giving away my only move for free.

PULL THE TRIGGEEEEEEEEEEER

lthomasnews

I kno that game

hahaha! this is a good one

Forgot “shouting ‘Do it! Do it!’l

Unus Annus taught me self defense right

Plan could also go to shit though

As someone who has been the assailant many many times, this maneuver calls me out and I always back down, except that one guy who was super annoying. I shot him. I shot him good.

Hey! That's ollymoss ! I think. Idk he tweeted about this earlier. Anyways, OH GOD OLLY DONT DO IT. YOU'VE SO MUCH MORE TO LIVE FOR. THINK OF ALL THE INTERLOCKED FLOORBOARDS YOU'VE YET TO MAKE.

BryanWinsAgain You realize magats are going to do this ?

Brooklyn 99 comes to mind for some reason

РЕНАТА ТЫ ЗНАЕШЬ ЧТО Я ТЕБЯ ЛЮБЛЮ

But how do you get them to go for the brain stem instead? I'm not trying to wake uo after

Though voting for Trump must be high up the list daveanthony

You should always try to out-crazy crazy. ALWAYS.

Warning results may vary depending on godhood status

It's akin to liberals voting against their own self interest by continuing to elect the same old and tired politicians. They just don't care.

I guess I prefer the jesus' solution.

I love the Onion, but Why Must Every Word In The Headline Start With A Capital Letter?

“Don’t get shot by muggers with this one weird trick!” “Muggers hate him! Cick to learn why.”

I wanna see a realistic movie, where the guy pushes the other guy's hand to his forehead, and that accidentally makes the gun go off

Truth!

Finally! The Tom Cruise / Adam Scott love child makes his debut!

Why is Adam Scott shooting himself ?

Thought it was to vote Republican

Diction if they were going to kill you...i don't think they care either.

Or not wearing a mask

JIST FUCKIND DO IT

I learned from experience that asking the gunman “are you going to fuck me?” Does not work.

ollymoss

I’ve done this at least four times myself. Only got shot once.

first, establish wrist control

whats the best way to get them to shoot?

OMG this just happened to me last night again and it totally works!

This is basically every episode of Battlestar Galactica (2004)

What about screaming, 'DO IT! DO IIIIIIIT!' through your teeth?

Stop

Fun fact: The Springfield 1911 has a Secondary safety feature that with the slide pushed in (with enough force to fully plug a barrel) that the hammer would fall, not strike the pin, then be left in the half cocked position, and thus a 'safety' feature.

Colloquially known as 'Democrat strategy'. TheOnionSucks

I find pushing the gun to just below the waistline to be more effective. But that's just me.

It’s a bold move danthaman_man Gentlemanreptar

'Republican man has two choices... to vote and...'

duvy5 friend_robbie oak07

I mean you are right

octobadger1 KingslyFishao

Tadgho78 obvi

ja_sylvester

Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Ah, the inspiration.

Explain how when social distance is 6ft

Panelists Agree: Sticking Finger In Little Brother's Mouth To See If He Will Bite It This Time Proves More Dangerous Than Ever. ด้อมแรกของคุณคือ Covid_19 MondayNightFootball

ONLY if your really prepared to die?

2020 wear a chin mask

some guns don't function if you press in the slide

Honestly tho i got out of a mugging after the guy threatened me with a knife. I just told him to stab me in the neck not the stomach like he was going for

Like neurotics obsessed with amputating their own healthy limbs, most middle-class nerds are concerned with 'keeping it real' are engaging in gratuitously self-destructive and violently masochistic behaviour.

We live in Trump's America. Anyone who pulls a gun on someone now and thinks we'll hand over our money is delusional. We'll take the bullet.

Thanks for taking one for the team?

Unfortunately, I only attract snipers

Excited to try this when the government-ordained death squads round us up for not obeying the Trump regime

The only gun I'm putting to my head 🤣

What.. you don't care.. how dare you.. and i was working so hard on make people care for their lives.. and you.. ruined my mission.. Aarrgh.. My place or yours ?

I did this once the guy thought I was crazy. I am crazy. I ain't afraid of death. Cant be any worse than living in America.

Is that Jon Heder?

Ha i feel

anyone else constantly imagine being in this situation? not fighting a robber off with amazing kung fu skills or by talking them down, but just leaning in and letting them really decide if I'm going to see my mother again

Na just ask if you can go on his next robbery with him . Then ask for his phone so you can contact him about the next robbery..

Self defense 101

...I guess.

Win/win

Hell, I'll even pull the trigger for them.

this is great. I love it

Eric Trump is that you?

Great persecution is coming! Stand straight!

Whos been holding a gun to your head making you tweet Onion? Is it pedo Joe Hide'en Biden

Too real

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