Screw Sad Fashion, I Want Feathers and Dumb Shit

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On Wednesday, a review of Fall/Winter 2020 collections by the CBC praised designers like Marc Jacobs and Marine Serre for creating “practical clothes that people want to wear.” At Marine Serre, models were covered head-to-toe in voluminous garments bereft of color. They wore gloves and high-fashion face masks as a nod to coronavirus anxiety. At Marc Jacobs, models wore giant coats over roomy dresses, everything sadly practical, even the pastels made a bit gloomy by monochromatic monotony. Most high-fashion looks this year have been heavy on sweater-vests and giant double-breasted outerwear. Oversized, sleeved, wool, and sturdy, with nary a midriff or sequin or feather in sight. It’s all very tasteful. The muted colors and boxy cuts could go from board meeting to cocktail reception to Connecticut funeral without raising a single eyebrow.\n

designers like Marc Jacobs and Marine Serre for creating “practical clothes that people want to wear.” At Marine Serre, models were covered head-to-toe in voluminous garments bereft of color. They wore gloves and high-fashion face masks as a nod to coronavirus anxiety. At Marc Jacobs, models wore giant coats over roomy dresses, everything sadly practical, even the pastels made a bit gloomy by monochromatic monotony.

Maybe it’s the times. Designers are struggling to shake off criticisms of the frivolous fashion industry’s history of contributing to global warming, and so their clothes have become the color of dirt in order to signify their Earth-friendly sustainability. Perhaps non-fashion industry folk are concerned with seeming too loud, even with their clothing choices, because America’s president is a technicolor human bullhorn whose supporters display their loyalty with garish blood-red hats.

for grown-ups lit up my computer screen with models in short-sleeved, aggressively pink cropped moto jackets that would serve no function whatsoever in cool weather, yet would be much too stifling for sun, belts pointlessly encircling naked rib cages, and shirts that read “Moschino for ages 5 and over.”

Though the runways hadn’t yet caught up, 2014 was the year when everyone in New York under 30 seemed to decide in unison that color was over, high-waisted black Levi’s were the only pants worth owning, and sad-looking tofu sweaters were

 

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