Scientists Link Dwindling Insect Populations To Pale Weird Kid

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 20 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 11%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

DARMSTADT, GERMANY—Finding a potential root cause for a problem that has greatly perplexed scientists, a new report published Tuesday in the Journal Of Applied Entomology has linked dwindling global insect populations to this one pale weird kid. “We have seen a massive die-off of insects, a phenomenon that could…

DARMSTADT, GERMANY—Finding a potential root cause for a problem that has greatly perplexed scientists, a new report published Tuesday in thehas linked dwindling global insect populations to this one pale weird kid.

“Once this awkward, sickly-looking boy was introduced to the planet, we saw a rapid decline in a variety of insect and arachnid populations. It is imperative that we neutralize the effects of Kevin. However, when our research team tried to approach him in his backyard, he responded by meowing at us and throwing lit matches in our direction until we were forced to back away.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Bermuda Triangle mystery, 630 live insect larvae, heartbreaking scene: tonight's top storiesA scientist thinks the Bermuda Triangle mystery has been solved. 630 live insect larvae were found hidden in artificial flowers at John F. Kennedy International Airport, and a heartbreaking crime scene has a sheriff's office feeling somber.
Source: FOX10Phoenix - 🏆 83. / 68 Read more »

Dwindling legislative clock suggests Texas' cannabis reform bills will die in the state SenateAlthough the Texas House passed two cannabis bills with bipartisan support, observers doubt Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick will let them advance in his chamber. Texas txlege cannabisindustry CannabisCommunity cannabisculture DanPatrick txsenate
Source: SAcurrent - 🏆 607. / 51 Read more »

Scientists Structurally Analyze Highly Reactive Anionic Pt(0) Complexes for the First TimeStabilization by the electron-accepting boron compounds. Anionic M0 complexes (M=group 10 metals) have attracted interest due to their potential as active catalysts for chemical reactions. Despite this, the determination of their molecular structures has been a rarity, primarily due to their extr
Source: SciTechDaily1 - 🏆 84. / 68 Read more »

Stop eradication of small mammals to protect vital ecosystems, say scientistsA new article published in the Journal of Animal Ecology suggests that current measures to protect grasslands in the Qinghai-Tibetan Plateau are damaging the ecosystem and should be stopped.
Source: physorg_com - 🏆 388. / 55 Read more »

Watch an octopus waking up from what scientists think could have been a nightmareThe male octopus was repeatedly filmed violently jolting awake from sleep and engaging in unusual activities, but exactly what prompted this odd behavior is unclear.
Source: LiveScience - 🏆 538. / 51 Read more »

Don't Let Big Oil Sabotage Global Plastics Treaty, 170+ Groups and Scientists Tell UN'We are urging the U.N. to listen to the millions of people around the world who want an end to plastic pollution, rather than the interests of the oil and gas lobby.'
Source: commondreams - 🏆 530. / 51 Read more »