grmarc/iStock, adapted by C. Aycock/Jill stares at the wall, her fingers tapping arrhythmically on her desk. Pedro, her lab mate, hesitates before whispering, “Hey Jill, what’s up?” Jill opens her mouth slowly before answering with the friendliest tone she can muster, “Nothing, apart from tons of anger I am trying to suppress. It’s not about you, so don’t worry.” She slowly turns back to her computer, leaving Pedro dumbfounded. Originally from Argentina, he spent the first 2 years of his Ph.D.
“I assume you would like to know what made me angry,” Jill says as they sit in a quiet corner of their busy campus. Pedro nods. “People who act like robots and don’t care about the feelings of others,” she tells him. “That’s what made me angry.” Pedro falls silent and thinks about how he can approach the situation. Finally, he turns to Jill. “Do you want to know the name I secretly called him during my first few months working in his lab?” Jill’s eyes are blazing with curiosity. “Definitely,” she responds. “Mr. Ice Age. I found him supercold,” Pedro explains. “But now that I’ve worked with him for a few years, I also know him as a kind-hearted person.
He went on to tell her that that isn’t the way he operates—he isn’t comfortable criticizing others bluntly himself, so he chooses to make constructive suggestions instead. But over time he realized that others operated differently from him and he shouldn’t take it too personally.
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