Save $1 Million by Forgoing Coffee and Joy of Any Kind in This Soulless World

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Listen to Suze Orman and rid yourself of all material delights, you piece of garbage

on social media, Orman suggests brewing java at home instead of buying it every day: “You spend $1 to $3 on a cup of coffee, which is approximately $100 a month … $100 a month in a Roth IRA over 40 years is $1 million. So you need to think about it as you are peeing $1 million down the drain after you are drinking that coffee.”First of all, $1 to $3 is an affordable estimate, so thank you, Suze, for assuming we’re even that financially responsible.

This is at least partially true. Everyone could spend more responsibly, though blaming our current financial peril entirely on small indulgences like coffee ignores the modern hellscape that our boomer parents hath wrought — but here we go falling into those other terrible millennial traps, blaming and complaining.

That, but with utensils, plates, and other dishes. No single person needs their own place setting — maybe even consider moving your whole crew into a one room squat where you can all eat out of the same bowl for max convenience and savings!, and, according to the laws of science, will never go bad once Jack Frost has laid his icy fingers on it.

5. Save your avocado pits, acquire a small plot of land, and create a low-level avocado Ponzi scheme., here you come!Alright, so you can’t enjoy a latte or the occasional burrito bowl in everyday life. That’s what your own consciousness is for.Repeat the mantra “needs, not wants” over and over again until you feel yourself shedding your humanity like a snakeskin.

 

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I never buy coffee out. Where's my money.

Vice level clickbait

i thought it was stop eating avocado toast? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, OLD PEOPLE

Baby boomers making ridiculous condescending remarks to younger generations? What else is new?

Or just get a bunch of suckers to buy your books and videos. That works too.

Philly Great article 👍

Eater went off the rails with this epic roast

Eater went off the rails with this epic roast

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