SALEM, OR—Promising that it would only take a few moments so don’t get too upset, sources confirmed Friday that your system update means the computer is going to have to go away for a little while. Yes computer is going bye-omputer just needs a little rest and then it will be happy and you can both have fun together again.
Some experts with knowledge of the situation have admitted that computer going away may mean some of the sad feelings will come back, but nothing bad is happening to computer so stop crying, it will be okay. At press time, computer update was stuck at the number 41 for some reason and might need to go to the computer man for a few days or go bye-bye forever just like grandpa.
TBF, it’s a Mac. It can go away forever, and I wouldn’t be all that broken up.
Save my game!
My brain is like a computer, ----- and it just crashed😵💫
It's ok, all things reach 42 when they die.
But for $50 it will update faster.
The UP part was added by the computer. We know what it’s really going for.
… actually for a long long while, and may or may not ever return. Every - single - day 😡
Related: Wise MacBook User Knows 'System Update Available' Trap To Force You To Take Laptop To Apple Store And Have Them Do It
Update: Computer now happily living at computer farm upstate
So glad I know that this is the OFFICIAL Onion, and not one of those silly 'Parody' accounts.
Now to stare at it instead of doing something productive.
Why is it taking so long!?
... no...
This must happen.
Laughs in Linux
i literally updated my computer the other day and it took 2 days to fix it because it kept boot looping. windows is pure evil
Linux users right now
For windows that means a week for updates then you can use it for theee hours before another week of updates!
Ha, that's not the case for Linux
Will it be back with milk?
For cigarettes
Might as well go to the can...
you know that's probably also the real 'special' apple that shouldnt have been tasted. YAY i'm android.
It's not you. Really.
Hurry back!
1 hour later:
But don't worry, when you get it back it will still be glitchy as fuck. And when you want to play things on youtube, you will still have to press stop, then play again. Then refreshe the screen because the audio isn't matching up with the video. Because it's a Mac.
rehab gig
It went down the road for a pack of smokes and came back 20 years later for a handout and a kidney.
:(
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