Vol 49 Issue 46

Vol 49 Issue 46

Report: Some People Live In Pennsylvania

Report: Some People Live In Pennsylvania

9/12/2019 3:15:00 PM

Report: Some People Live In Pennsylvania

ALBANY, NY—According to the results of a comprehensive, year-long study published Tuesday, researchers have confirmed that there are some people who live in Pennsylvania. “A careful examination of the evidence we collected has led us to conclude that certain people—some male, some female—make their home in the state of Pennsylvania,” said the report’s lead author, Ryan Armstrong, noting that such individuals may be adults or children, and may reside in northern Pennsylvania, southern Pennsylvania, eastern Pennsylvania, or western Pennsylvania. “When directly asked where they live, many people we spoke with told us Pennsylvania. However, there were others who, when asked the same question, named completely different places, such as Ohio, New Hampshire, or Buffalo. This would seem to indicate that while some people do indeed live in Pennsylvania, not everyone lives in Pennsylvania.” Researchers added that if actor Tom Hanks were to purchase a home in Pennsylvania and move into that home, then Tom Hanks would be someone who lives in Pennsylvania, but this is currently not the case.

Read more: The Onion »

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How could you do such. We In philly fr Yeah... it’s one of the most populated states in America as someone who lives in pennsylvania i dont believe this Ewww, no way! Oh fuck Pikaclicks no, there are no people, only husks of our former selves. Pics or it didn't happen big if true katieborgo do you agree? Pikaclicks nice

Wow ivanfuglo STOP LYING THERE IS NO WAY al3xw1nd crazy Who in their right mind would live there... 😏 TaylorYoungArt Most will be in State College this weekend Pikaclicks Lies yallgotpaws you can’t be serious Did you actually pay someone to write this fuckin article? jameschurn fake news Realist thing I've seen online in awhile.

Those poor people psunderland1 Doubt This legitimately is weird to me if true Bold take... StitesMelissa Obviously nobody around here is from here. It’s PA, not Pennsylvania. No one says out the entire state name. Fake news Okay but source? Another example of the biased news media Aww, shit. They found out. Alright, fess up - Who snitched? 🤨

Sad, but true it’s true sean_ike Dmodelinchef ha ... hahahahahahaha 😂 I spoke to someone on the phone at work this week and they said they were in Pennsylvania, but in a prison work program. The horror Why? I am one who lives here! And I love this great & beautiful Commonwealth! Truth be told... You have Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. The state of Alabama is in between those cities.

And they’re all Amish Orangekroo15 LukeWill81 AlanaDiperri Is this supposed to be funny? Geez. I remember when this website actually had funny articles. This is just dumb. Omg I never thought this would report fake news But the smart ones move. Fake news FakeNews UndertaleXans But why? BUCNProblem Can confirm

ElectriXite Oh-hoo. That might be me... I can’t believe I don’t see Selinsgrove... this is tyranny it me. papvin1 But where? JBinDC 🤔 Facts south Jersey is a suburb of Philadelphia which I heard was to be rumored to be in Pennsylvania but collectively only know as Wentzlvania ItsJoko damn gotta update the list of fake places

Home of the worst Governor in America. Is Jim Thorpe the most populous part of carbon county? Wow... PATreasury eager to see your take For years, their license plates kept reminding me that 'I have a friend' there. To see that there ARE people in Pa. hilights the sad truth that I may have missed out on many friends I never visited. My new NYS plates will say 'Excelsior', whatever that means.

Fake News! Gonna need to check your sources on this one & many who do, don't Who exactly? I think that's a myth. but they all move down south and tell you how great it was there....go on back 😉 Large if verified Don’t drag Pennsyltucky-that’s my thing fucked if true DanielisWalton did u kno I am offended by this and will now retreat into my safespace.

sire_kalpington not us Sucks to be them reflectronic Yes and it’s rather unfortunate Lies. Propaganda. JohnFetterman Men? Women? Children? Really? This is a bruh moment People? Eh... Wait really? Can anyone confirm this? Fake news. Nobody lives in Pennsylvania, I even asked a Pennsylvanian and he said nobody lives there

YTLazorinc Liar. That's a damn lie and you know it!! miketw22 Need Scopes to verify this first Been to Pennsylvania, I saw nobody. fake news However questions still remain on Delaware. Is it a state or just a county in Pennsylvania? PennsylvaniaGov delaware_gov femmewithapen Can you believe this? Imagine living in Wyoming, Pennsylvania

jgarrison670 bigiftrue Ah that sucks How is this possible? linger_man The author of this article likely got paid for a solid 8 hours work. Deciding the type of work that gets accomplished in those 8 hours is vitally important. I look forward to reading the work you produce upon graduating from PSU! Soar to be great like this person!

Circle ⭕️ the area your talking about with a sharpie! hayudi18 ...we gotta get Tom Hanks. And 90% of them live 'just outside Philadelphia' That's illegal I'd like you to show further evidence to back that claim up. The data I've seen so far is suspect. Lol then we can have fun listing off what we hear after any 'report'. Its not on the emergency level yet though

emj51702 are you one of them? HOLY SHIT I HAD NO IDEA!!!! Thank you for these inspiring and amazing news articles! And incredibly some of those people commute 3 hours, twice per day, to work in Manhattan! DuhBlahZ0 & Cuomo have made NY unaffordable for those earning under $350,000 with a family of 4. It costs $850 per month just to park a car in one spot in Manhattan. Double to commute daily.

Attention MonkeyMel1003 !! Some news for you. Wait really can I get verification O_O juicepool anthonystauffer is this true? Huh. OMG I live in Pennsylvania this is HUGE news YTLazorinc No I believe paulapoundstone might challenge this 'science' If you don't click on the link and they don't make any money, Click on the link.

PurpleCar 'This would seem to indicate that while some people do indeed live in Pennsylvania, not everyone lives in Pennsylvania.' LOVE It! If you consider Pennsylvania living paxthedog whorevidal Many more leave these outright lies are getting out of hand... Oh no Fake news. I had a friend who went to Philadelphia once and got a squeezer from a stripper; a white one. 15 years later... BAM! Herpes. That’ll teach him.

I don’t buy it Bull shit GummyFredo I believe they're called 'Yinzers'. 'Live' is kind of a strong word m_lavella_ Wow! Now do Wyoming. nate_lapointe Carolina - named for King Charles. New York - named for York, England. Maryland- named for Queen Mary. Pennsylvania- named for William Penn, a Quaker who believed in religious tolerance and freedom of speech, and was against slavery. The best state EVER!!!!!!

Really groundbreaking stuff here 😳😳😳 _alex_joshua I zoomed all the way in on Google Maps and didn't see anyone. Disproven! Still? bullshit They know about us! HIDE! Sounds kind of far fetched Someone needs to help these poor people. And unfortunately I'm one of them... gentIerepose 'People'? Dont make me laugh

CaitlinTake2 wreistlin can you confirm this? Ive seen some show about people working in scranton but i think it was filmed in LA so dunno can whoaaitsmeghann confirm this is true? Tragic Willingly?! As someone who use to live in Pennsylvania, I cam confirm there are others there. When i'm on the banks of the Delaware river on the Jersey side, i always wonder if people lived on the other side. Thanks Onion.

Yes, but most are there by accident. Ha why is ALBANY the byline oh shit that's me Very concerning. Why is nothing being done about this? Disgusting yikes The message is the same no matter which word you emphasize. THEAP99 Home to that Amish mafia. 👨‍🌾👩‍🌾👨‍🌾👩‍🌾 yooo wtf is this true Well, would'ya look at that!

Pennsylvania is just a state that gets in the way when you’re driving to Bew York. House of Yes Next time me. Bold of you to assume we’re alive I useta know a guy who lived in Wayn County. *snicker* And they don't even know it I live in pennsylvania and I can confirm this is a fake article How dare you dunk on PA only pennsylvanians are allowed to do that

holdenawfield god tier journalism here. NYT take note Wow - Shaken to my core And you'd never know if LUZERNE County (largely Obama-democrats) handed victory to tRUMP NeverAgain Big, if true

In last words, Jamal Khashoggi asked his killers not to cover his mouth, report saysIn his final words, slain Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi asked his killers not to cover his mouth because he suffered from asthma and could suffocate Not a huge impediment to dismemberment.... It’s true, Anton Yelchin wasn’t an accident. We’ll bring you more details. Enough of grisly details about the murder of Khashoggi. Any report on what the US did or not did to keep Saudi Arabia and MBS accountable? Any report on Saudi's political lobbying in the US or on why the US Universities are taking money from them? Human violations, war crimes?

US removed top spy from Russia in 2017: reportCIA informant who was extracted from Russia had sent secrets to the US for decades, but concerns about the informant being exposed led to him being removed from Russia, the NYTimes reports. Is that Ronald Trump The CIA says this is fake news.

Report: Patriots WR Brown to practice WednesdayWide receiver Antonio Brown has been an early bird all week at New England'... Who cares. lol That's news?

New York City’s Income-Inequality Gap Hasn’t Changed, Report SaysMayor Bill de Blasio made only modest gains in closing disparities between rich and poor, a conservative think tank found: “We were promised huge changes, an end to the ‘tale of two cities,’ and it hasn’t happened.” Per Census Bureau, U.S. poverty rates hit lowest level since 2001. What, liberal progressive ideas don’t work Shocker

Deputy leader of UK's Labour to demand Brexit referendum before election: reportTom Watson, UK Labour's deputy leader, will call for the opposition party t... BrexitShambles tom_watson stop play your games with BorisJohnson & go work on your LabourParty policies if you & jeremycorbyn are to be true to your word & deliver for the many than the few ? Embarrassed for NC but please remember this is a gerrymandered district and does not represent the rest of my state! NC09Together NC9

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