Report: Click On Some Ads Around This Article And We’ll Split The Loot 60/40

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CHICAGO—Offering readers a nice little kickback in exchange for their assistance, a report released Friday promised that if you click on some ads around this article, The Onion would spit the loot 60/40. “We can confirm that your efforts to click on the advertisements around our website will generate profits for The…

CHICAGO—Offering readers a nice little kickback in exchange for their assistance, a report released Friday promised that if you click on some ads around this article,would spit the loot 60/40.

if everyone plays along that is.“Sure, we’re keeping the lion’s share, but we’re also taking on all the risk with our advertisers and everything. Just keep this shit on the down low. If they catch wind of this, we’re totally fucked, so you’re actually getting the better end of the deal here. It’s just a couple of ad impressions, what’s the harm? So, what do you say? If you scratch our back, we’ll scratch yours.

 

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🤨🤔🧐

💰🤣me 60 you 40 deal? But I need some advance?

Hahahaha, done. 🤫

Awh cuz how you gonna do me like that cuz, you meanin me 60 you 40? If so, aight that's g man, I'll help a playa out. You sayin me 40 youse 60? Bruh you trippin, G lemme get that 50-50 straight up man to man dawg i gotchu homie these streets is wild

😂😂

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