Report: China To Overtake U.S. As World's Biggest Asshole By 2020

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From The Archives | Report: China To Overtake U.S. As World's Biggest Asshole By 2020

WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Monday by a panel of top economists and social scientists, the People's Republic of China will overtake the United States as the world's dominant asshole by the year 2020., support recent speculation that America's unquestioned reign as the leading super-prick may soon be drawing to a close, leaving China as the foremost shithead among all developed nations.

Over that same time, China has seen a dramatic rise in both its GDP and Shithead Index, definite signs that the Asian nation is developing into a cocksucker of global proportions."When you consider China's wanton pollution, rising militarism, and rampant overdevelopment, it's clear they'll soon be thoroughly out-dicking the U.S. in every measurable area," international affairs specialist Neil Farren said.

 

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AntiTrumpReport Turns out China never stood a chance.

Fake news. We're still the biggest!

Why not both?

Ha, amateurs.

Back when the U.S. had a president who incompetently didn’t know how to be an asshole.

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So this would qualify the DNC as world's biggest hemorrhoid ... ?

Good luck, China. You'll need it.

5/5

Only if The Onion relocates there. TheOnionSucks

All thanks to Xi Jinping.

Didn’t seem to make it!

Only if Trump is not president

Man did this one miss the boat

Team MAGA throwing down some solid defense to keep USA in the top spot

no, it'll take longer than that. we're 1

With all that genocide its definitely number 1

Come on America we need to step it up 😤 AMERICA NUMBER ONE!!!! 🇱🇷

More like 2024.

Fake news! 'Cause we got Trump on our side!

Prophetic!!!

C’mon, we’re trying as hard as we can!

Still number 1.

If there's one thing we are good at; it's being an Asshole. That and refusing to change our opinion no matter what facts or scientific data says we're wrong. 'Murica!

Not possible. We’re 1 by a landslide.

doubtful

Looks like y'all got at least one wrong!

Proof that a lot can be accomplished despite daunting odds, if one works toward a goal strenuously

That’s a tough task right now. Assholes are despised but thugs are feared. We are still the more despised at this point but props to China for their hard work to reach the top.

Well, depending on who wins the upcoming election, this can be seen as fact now or a non-joking oriented news item by the end of the year.

This prediction could not have taken into account the Magats though, so the US retains their biggest asshole standing...

Well that's just fake news

Missed on this one

America something something hold my Beer joke

We're still going strong lads

Yup, once they pump out vaccines for the entire world, US is pretty much done

Epic 😂

Under Jolson Trudeaus reign Canada has taken that spot.

An instant classic

Tru.p will never allow the US to fall to second

Trump made sure that didn't happen.

We don't lose the belt without a fight

I love this because it's fake, there's no way anybody overtakes USA as the biggest asshole

Not a chance

Not likely rump has seen to that. America first.

I dunno man, the US is really putting in overtime trying to hand on to that title

China will outpace US by a gaping margin.

America’s finest news source!

China is not focused on competing with the US, it's focused on improving the lives of its people. I can understand there are conflicts of interests between the two but China is not obsessed with the US.

Sushubh Why Hu Jintao photo instead of WinnieThePooh The current dictator ?

Not china slander on the TL

It's still very neck and neck. Both of them have concentration camps.

Doubtful

Imagine harvesting Muslim organs, denying freedom of speech and practice of religion, killing opposition, murdering civilians en masse, forcefully ejecting political dissidents from a foreign government to install your own politicians and Americans still say “no we’re worse”

We’re still number one USA USA USA 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸

That'll take some doing

I think China is still the bigger asshole. They have forced labor prison camps holding millions of people. ...wait

Seems unlikely tbh

They will never pry it out of the cold, dead hands of America

na that's impossible

Not if I have any say in it

Bigger, sure. But are they prolapsed, like our GOP? Didn't think so. We're still worse....

Well, the US certainly upped its game to prove you wrong.

We out ass them by like 7 to 1 still.

We cannot allow an asshole gap!

If you wanna be the king you gotta take the crown. 🇺🇸

Nope.

through the biological covid they released and seeing they have the cure. they will rule the world

This would be like if the Clippers blew another 3-1 lead in the second round. Oh shit wait bad analogy

My archives show China has held the official title of ‘Asshole’ as of 1966, almost lost it in the 80s but quickly reclaimed it in Tiananmen. Again, almost lost it in 2019, but tripled down in Wuhan, Hong Kong, and a concentration camp in Xinjiang. They still reign Asshole premier

U.S.: Hold my beer

they already are

This one didn't age well did it?

agedlikemilk

Close...but not quite accurate...

Winning!

U. S. A. !! U. S. A. !! U. S. A. !!

USA: Hold my beer

Didn't manage it, did they?

Not too sure about that

Fake News!

And then the USA said, “Oh yeah? Hold my beer!”

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