Recently Exorcised Julianne Hough Has Transcended the Physical Plane to Somewhere Her Husband Probably Isn't

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When one receives an energy healing and demonic exorcism from the sort of person who claims he can disappear breast cancer, one can also expect to experience some sort of transcendental revelation—or the complete transformation of your physical body into something incomprehensible to those on the mortal plane. Currently, Julianne Hough is having this sort of crisis.

by Hough yesterday offer yet another lengthy explanation about the state of her soul, and ascension past the physical plane, this time with a Heidi Priebe quote:

“To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be. The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer. The people they don’t recognize inside themselves anymore. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when they are lost.

“But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be. It is our job to travel with them between each version to honor what emerges along the way. Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame. Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears and temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness.

While he is left to figure out what to do now that she’s gone, the rest of us can find Hough and her Kinrgy dancers on tour with Oprah, where she is joined by The Rock, Michelle Obama, and Tina Fey. As she

 

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