Project Please Don’t Greenlight: Bad Pandemic Movie Ideas

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These pandemically flavored movies seem, alas, inevitable.

form a sort of trilogy, one in which you can chart how much dumber and less plausible each movie is than the last. Yes, the alien invasion one is somehow the most realistic. A movie about a super-pandemic that inexplicably causes the Eiffel Tower to fall over would neatly fit into the end of this progression as the absolute least plausible.

You can see it already, I’m sure. Brad Pitt is a Science Dad with a beautiful, loving family and a satisfied home life, but his idyllic morning is interrupted when his wife, gazing with horror at the television, whispers “Honey…” and he turns up the volume just as the newscaster starts talking about a mounting death toll “in Asia.

At some point, the sheer number of sick people will cause planes to fall out of the air and trucks to randomly run down secondary characters in the middle of the street, as our hero tries to traverse the country for some miracle cure.

Alternately, we will get a version that will cite the various tell-all books that this administration has left in its wake, , starring a series of A-listers underneath pounds of prosthetics.

 

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