Pope Rummaging Through Vatican Basement For Plastic Nativity Scene Figures

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VATICAN CITY—Hoping to have all his holiday decorations up by the weekend, His Holiness Pope Francis has spent the past two hours rummaging through the basement of the papal apartments in search of the Vatican’s plastic nativity scene figures, sources confirmed Friday.

After climbing over dusty cases of sacramental wine and bins filled with mothballed vestments, the pope reportedly found the set’s plywood manger in a corner of the room near the sump pump, though sources noted he has yet to locate all the blow-molded polyethylene representations of the Holy Family and their Christmas visitors.“Oh, come on, where’s the third wise man?” the spiritual leader of 1.

After testing to confirm that Mary would still light up when plugged in, Francis noted that the winters had taken their toll on the Blessed Virgin, wearing away most of the paint on her face. He also added that he would likely have to display the statue of a kneeling Joseph at an awkward angle, so as to obscure the dent in his head suffered during Benedict XVI’s papacy.

“You know what? I don’t think this baby Jesus is even from the same set,” said the pope in audible exasperation, pointing out that the unpainted plastic infant he found beneath a tangled ball of Christmas lights and a bag of old palm ashes had a much more simplistic design than the rest of the figures. “Ugh. I honestly wouldn’t mind if I thought people wouldn’t notice, but he might not even fit inside the manger.

“Well, it looks like we’re going without a Star of Bethlehem this year,” the pope said before emitting an extended sigh. “We’ve got so many goddamn packages of tinsel down here, I guess I’ll just dangle some of that from the roof and call it a day. If Cardinal [Angelo] Sodano complains, he can deal with it himself. I’ve already spent way too much time on this.”Added the pope, “Right now, I really need to climb to the top of the Basilica dome and get Santa’s sleigh mounted on the roof.

 

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letitiaheart 😂😂😂

I’m dying

relatable

For the love of St. Pete where did I put that box last January!.

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” - John 3:3 “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” - Matthew 4:17

This is an all time classic. I look forward to it every year.

POPE FRANCIS HAS DECLARED MEDICAL PEDOPHILIA ACCEPTABLE FOR THE CLERGY AS IT BEATS CLERGY REPELLENT:

Where's the baby Jesus!?

You don’t know how close to reality this is. I once went into the basement of my home Catholic Church built in the 40s and found 70 years of partial old nativity pieces

You'd think he has dibs on the real ones.

Wait a minute, that's MY basement !!!

'We need the plastic nativity scene to own the libs.'

Does he have any other outfits or is he pretty much business formal all day every day?

HUH, you'd think he had people for that. Such a humble pious man i guess!

Oh come now. The Cardinals do that, he just stands behind them and points at boxes to open.

...figures 😒🤳

I'm sure he's rummaging for more than that..

I KNOW I put Rudolph's nose in this box last year.

He has servants for that.

'I don't care if it rains or freezes. Long as I got my plastic Jesus. Riding on the dashboard of my car '

'Fuck it, we doing the blow-up Jack Skellington this year.'

Dan Brown To Write Best-Selling Novel About Weird Urn Pope Trips Over In Space Under Stairs

One wise man always goes missing

Gonna find a whole bunch of skeletons

brendonwalsh Yo whys that shit not nicer lol.

Doesn't seem too farfetched actually..

Lol

And little boys.

He should have gotten on painting minis before thanksgiving.

[Exo 20:4 KJV] 4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or that [is] in the earth beneath, or that [is] in the water under the earth:

Maybe looking for his old pacifier?

I bet he could use a miracle or two just about now. :-)

KalebPrime

and the wreath with the missing holly berries we always hang on the door

He got the latest report on the annual spending.. Alot of the Bills refered to colorful ornaments

While you're down there could you keep an eye out for our Menorah? We heard you might still have it and it would make a sweet Chanukah gift if you gave it back. Sincerely, The Jews

Wait til he gets to the Christmas lights. They get put away nice and neat in January, but come December, they are all tangled. WTF!

Check the Popemobile trunk

Those ornaments contain the name of 100 pedophile priests a piece.

We've all been there. One of my wise men is still wandering the attic.

Not that great a photoshop

hello

This is well edidted

hi

can i have a highfive

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