A growing number of Canadian parents are polyamorous, opting for consensual non-monogamous relationships. Having multiple partners may seem weird, confusing or even scandalous to some. But experts, parents and even kids say it offers some surprising benefits.Polyamorous parents Sue , Ryan, Liane and Sean may look chic and glam, but that's all stylists and art directors. In real life, they're just a normal— albeit untraditional—family.
“We didn’t have to choose between someone going with the baby or staying with Sue,” adds Sean. “We got to do both.” As they sewed Sue up, Liane never let go of her hand. at a time. According to sexuality educator Jacki Yovanoff’s 2015 report on poly parenting studies, called, four to five percent of Canadians identify as poly—and half of them are parents.
“The way we expect parents to raise kids now doesn’t make sense—all the stress is on two people, and there’s no real help. If you look at other societies or at ancient cultures, a village would raise the kids,” says Sheila Migneron. The Montreal mom of two—Alisanne, 3, and Maxime, four months—is married to Richard Migneron; she also has a boyfriend she’s been dating for a few months, while Richard has been seeing a woman named Melanie for a year .
“If I need support and my partner is not able to provide that, I have another partner to go to,” says Jon. This can, however, also present a challenge; Jon has to offer support to multiple people, too. “The more people you’re invested in, the more support you need to give,” he says. “If everyone happens to have a bad day at the same time, that can be…a lot.” Jon alone, for example, has two additional partners besides Jessa and Frankie, including Bryn* and long-distance love Wendy*.
Then there are the breakups. A 2009 study found that one of the most commonly cited disadvantages of poly family life is the kids’ pain in having to say more goodbyes to beloved partners more frequently. Michelle prefers to see this challenge as an opportunity to model good breakup behaviour for her boys and, as is common in the poly community, position the split as more of a transition than a break.
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