NEW YORK—Responding to criticisms of law enforcement injuring demonstrators, NYPD chief Terence Monahan publicly defended his squad’s controversial use of non-lethal rubber tires Wednesday as a means of de-escalating ongoing protests against police brutality.
“This is a purposefully restrained crowd-control tactic to stun people and stop them in their tracks, not cause fatal harm. They are only deployed when an officer feels like they are in imminent danger. Sure, in some cases, poorly aimed tires have caused internal bleeding, fractured bones, or left bruises shaped like tread marks over various body parts, but overall, this bouncy, flexible alternative is far preferable to being run over with hard metal wheels.
Retweet it with a reply, just so people can see the date.
robdelaney Bitches
Killed it with that one
wetcoastchef *correct tag this time*
The onion just never misses.
Garou_Hidalgo The Onion is undefeated
inafutureage Too real . Too real
Onion articles are hitting way too real these days smh
So... There is a lethal one.
Hold on just a dang minute. They don’t have to defen anything all tires are made of rubber. What has this country come to?
When did the onion stop doing parody and start doing actual reporting
_mcchris There is no such thing as 'non-lethal'. Rubber bullets, tazers, etc are 'less lethal' as they are unlikely, but still possible, to kill someone.
_mcchris Once again the Onion is on point.
LMAO
Quote from the Police Chief “... a tire has never been used to kill [someone], it is the person who is driving the car that kills, not the tire....”
I 😂😂😂 This... You guys.. 👏👏👏 Rock on, my friends. Rock on.
Onion batting average = .999
Origamigryphon When Onion articles are almost indistinguishable from actual news
heytred The thing is, it actually puts it in perspective.
*less lethal
y’all never miss 😭
You're undefeated, .
They pack quite a punch.
Horse laugh funny I expect nothing less from the best
Thank you for your service.
'specifically developed to soften the impact' ITS LIKE I CAN HEAR THIS LMAO
The Onion sheds tears for the rioters' safety & well-being. You get it?
Y’all have really upped your game on both sides!!
Your team has been straight fire these last few days
People who are angry just never learned to understand nuance. So here I'll ruin the joke for you. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE POLICE USE THE EXCUSE OF 'IT'S NON LETHAL' TO EXCUSE THEIR VIOLENCE AGAINST PROTESTORS.
Eugene_V_Dabbs Ahem, those tires are ‘less lethal.’
Bro whoever wrote this headline. YOU DROPPED THIS KING 👑
holy shit
GrwnAssKid2 EVERY COP LIES IN COURT! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE POS's
the onion has gone feral and we are here for it
bethbourdon Tires are people, too.
Oh , you are loved lol
jfc, i love you guys/gals. i think. you can consistently make me laugh & cry simultaneously
Remember folks, if you don't click on the link they don't make any money. So click to support quality journalism
Not so far
Made popular in South Africa and dubed the “necklace” 👍 When used with peterol the effect is far more persuasive.
you have it all wrong, anyone who stands in the street daring cars to run them down is trying to commit suicide. they were trying to assist in suicide attempts.
🤣🤣
it is BIO-rubber - the best there is from the BIOGOTREE - harvested by volentears and hurt working people..
The Onion DOESN’T MISS
Good Year
Good lord
Dear god onion................
hey, it just broke their legs which means its okay
Next up: Attacks on Police? The list of law enforcement injuries are endless: bruised knees from hard neck bones, papercuts from grabbing the signs of protestors, carpal tunnel syndrome from rapidly firing pepper spray and rubber bullets into crowds, and more.
Wtf?!
Scarily accurate
Glad they switched over. Trump is doing great things
Not funny. Maybe you guys should sit this one out.
TheWarOnCars
Do you think Trump understands he signed a bill to pay protesters unemployment? Trumppayprotesters
....when properly deflated, tires are an approved crowd dispersal technology per ANSI 7834.2 and the Hague....
It's not satire if it's true 🤔
you don’t miss
I dub you guys The Patron Saints of Sarcasm!
'hey, they didn't have studded spikes. waddya want?'
Shots fired *ba dum ts*
God damn
Clearly the onion is instigating the riots so they can keep these headlines going
Um...where does the parody part come in
Mercy! 😩😩
Doh
Savage in the best way, unlike trash cops being savage by driving through peaceful protesters.
damn
I think the more specific term is 'less lethal'
Oh shit, I just pooped my pants.
Fair Warning. I'm using my tires on anyone who jumps on my hood.
Oh my god this is savage
uhshanti
damn
acab
Shot's fired 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Y'all are killing it. I know you've had a rough few years coming up with jokes to make. This is your time.
Please give me your blessings ITProfess_Actor to improve myself.......to be able to change our AMERICA and finally our planet in the RIGHT direction. I NEED A LOT OF BLESSINGS. I WOULD BE FOREVER GRATEFUL TO YOU. I'm asking for blessings from GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc. also...
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