Physician Shoots Off A Few Adderall Prescriptions To Improve Yelp Rating

REDDING, CA—Noting that his practice’s rating on the business review website had dipped to just 3.5 stars, local primary care provider Dr. Frank Hawley reportedly dashed off several Adderall prescriptions Monday to give his Yelp average a needed boost.

“I keep a pretty close eye on my reviews, and whenever I see my number fall below four stars I just write out a few extra Adderall or Dexedrine scripts and it’s back up in no time,” said Hawley, adding that he usually ups the dosage to 30 milligrams and makes sure to prescribe two refills to ensure he stays near the top of the local general practice rankings. “Patients are always happy when I sign that prescription slip and hand it to them—it’s pretty much a guaranteed five-star rating.

Good luck finding a pharmacy that actually has Adderall right now

Love this. Really shows the problems with patient satisfaction rating and reviews for doctors!

my city ran out. it sucks...

you can’t put refills on an adderall script

Onion buys own subscription to double the amount of fans 😂

hrishisolunke again, it's just reality

How does he feel about anal suppository opioids?

Does he take Blue Cross?

Remember kids, the medical distinction between a 'drug addict' and 'someone with chemical dependence' is your health insurance coverage. 🙃

That is a mediocre Phil Dunphy impression at best

I’ll take one!

😂😂😂😂😂

thanks, Doc!

This is a great medical practitioner, 5/5 on Yelp.

You'd think he'd want to over prescribe a better drug for Yelp ratings. Adderall has some pretty bad side effects. The loss of appetite is no joke.

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