Perspective | Carolyn Hax: Grandma offends stepson’s family over ‘hard’ grandchild

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Perspective: After years of difficulty with her stepson’s daughter, a grandmother had words with the family — and they haven’t visited since.

I am often called out on what I say to her. It seems I have been on guard for some time. Last summer it became unbearable in some respects, and I told her and her mother that I believed they don't like me. They left the house and I have not spoken to them personally since.It has become an issue of how we handle these sorts of situations, and I frankly don’t want to be involved in something where I will feel uncomfortable, knowing how they feel about me.

Certainly you can't ask the girl's mother to take the peacemaking lead; she has already made her own calculation that she needs to stand up to you to protect her girl. Recognize that a “hard” child isn’t a bad child. “Hard” just means there are challenges you haven’t seen before and require you to update your playbook. That’s the grace part.

 

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