Perspective | As a doctor and mother, I’m balancing privilege and pain through this pandemic

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Perspective: I tell patients they deserve to grieve without guilt. But it’s hard to practice what I preach.

My first emotional breakdown during the coronavirus pandemic had nothing to do with being a front-line physician. It was April, and my 2-year-old daughter asked me if we could go to the dentist. I laughed. Why would she want me to take her to a place she had been only once, and hated? Then I realized.

I’ve seen time and time again how parents, even those facing true hardship, struggle with this same guilt when faced with what seems to be greater suffering. Mothers and fathers with sick, hospitalized children routinely apologize for taking my time at the bedside, having seen “kids who are here for much worse.” My response is always the same: As a parent, the most intense emotion is always reserved for your child and your family.

 

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