Perspective | After a loved one dies, red tape adds to the grief

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Perspective: Grief is hard enough. Dealing with tech barriers and nonsensical policies make the months after a death into a second career of aggravating phone calls, emails and visits.

The last thing you want to deal with when you’re wrapped up in grief is red tape. It’s frustrating and exhausting and emotionally crushing. And yet it is unavoidable.

Two weeks after receiving the death certificate, the company rep asked for Scott’s birth certificate. Two weeks after that, our marriage license. Two weeks after that, she requested the original Social Security card I applied for at age 16. A friend, a retired district judge, pointed out that companies get only 30 days to resolve such issues. I called and told the representative that this limit had been exceeded. Amazingly, she called the next day and said everything was resolved.

3. Get a password manager to hold all your user names and passwords and make sure your executor knows your master password. If you have some accounts that are not included in a password manager, make sure your executor knows what they are .

 

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JonahDispatch It does.

When my father died, our mutual bank sent me the balance of his checking account but refused to tell me why or how it was sent to me. Meanwhile, I have to go to court to get access to his 401K with the same bank.

JonahDispatch I’ve often said that there should be a (for lack of a better term) death coordinator. We hire wedding coordinators to plan for that joyous event; nobody knows how to get through all of the details of this while hurting and having a service would help.

Months? I've been dealing with my incles estate for 15 years now. Some of it is impossible for the average person to understand.

Isn't there an app for this?

Every single word of this article is accurate. I lost track of how many times I wanted to snap at customer service reps blandly going through the motions of telling me “sorry for your loss” when I know they could not care less. It’s almost worse than no acknowledgment at all.

My mom died suddenly in July, it's been months and i feel like i haven't been allowed to greave. Just more fking phone calls and useless paperwork. It's like i'm being punished by librarians...

Yes- it’s crazy frustrating- even with the best laid plans

I have noticed that all this increase in digital technology has disproportionately affected people with low IQ. It’s very difficult for people with mental challenges to keep up.

Absolutely right

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