Letting clients face the fallout of their behaviors is key to their growth.
Being strongly grounded in differentiation and developmental theory, I definitely have an agenda for clients . . . but it’s not about what theyI hold the idea that a client’s choices and behaviors are their domain, and not something I have a vote on.
I could honestly assure her neither of those notions was accurate. I had absolutely no agenda for her relationship with eating. If she wanted a different relationship, I would help her develop it. But if she never changed her eating patterns, that was fully her choice and one I would respect. In working with her, I was invested in her developing the ability to"wrestle with herself," to face herself, to develop her own integrity around eating or emotional reactions.
I could sincerely tell Durga I had no idea about whether or not she should leave Sandeep, but I was highly interested in what she thought of herself, and how she felt about staying or going. It took her a long time to trust I wasn’t going to push her into leaving. Along the way, she got clearer and clearer about her own reactions to his behavior. Slowly but surely, she was able to"inhabit" how she truly felt.
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