We can never be quite clear whether we are referring to the world as it is or to the world as we see it.” — Gregory Bateson
Anger happens. In my mind, it is neither bad nor good, and it does not have to be one or the other. It is just a humanThere is a famous phrase coined by Alfred Korzybski,"The map is not the territory.” He used this to explain how our imposed models of reality are different than the things we encounter. The implication for anger is there are very few one-size-fits-all solutions that work for everyone. However, when it is repetitively heard, i.e.
Anger as an emotion demonstrates how vulnerable we are to life's inevitable contradictions. It is a process that has been evolving for as long as our species has existed. It has dealt with survival issues and easily defaults to historical adversarial means, especially when the sympathetic revved-up part of our nervous system is challenged.
If you are a snake, feeling trapped, you have three choices, aggressively bite, usually a fatal self-prophesy; do nothing and deal with unresolved consequences; or hiss, and increase your chances of resolution. The latter allows us a path to widen our lens, by “zooming in and out” creating new contexts to avoid triggering anger. It also allows for an eventual win-win mutual dialogue that encouragesand can be a source to temper one's state of mind.
We can rant or blame or join in a discussion of warm collaborative interaction. Do we have to look any further than contemporary situations of war, road rage, intense polarization, environmental havoc, or increasing relationship discord? There is no need or healthy purpose in minimizing past hurts or condoning injurious situations. The reality beyond the map is that we cannot change the past. We can, however, learn from it and use a win-win communication approach.
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Source: PsychToday - 🏆 714. / 51 Read more »
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Source: PsychToday - 🏆 714. / 51 Read more »