Personal perspective: Love what you do and who you’re with.

When I was in my 20s, all I wanted was to be famous, and I wasn’t. Not yet. My friend Jane said that while she wanted success, too, what she wanted more was to be in a good relationship, that she’d be happy if she had a husband, some kids, a home that made her feel good, work that she loved. I thought she was crazy. I wanted more.. It was one I was really worried about. I was afraid if the sales weren’t good, I would be dropped by my publisher.

I fell apart. The stories I told myself had to do with being a terrible writer. Being a failure. I wailed and couldn’t be comforted until a friend got my book to Algonquin, which not only published it, but made it abestseller its first week and got it into six printings. My sales were suddenly so huge, I thought my royalty checks must surely be a mistake because no one made that much money.. My first two advance reviews of the book were not exactly stellar, and I knew what that meant.

So, I, too, have my ten minutes. I will never not be dazzled that I got to be on CBS, that I got to be on NPR, and I am insanelyfor all the people who thought I was doing so well, that I was famous again, but, in a way, it’s like the make-up I had to spackle on to be on TV. I wash it off, this feeling of success, to the essentials. I know that a career, like a life, can have ups and downs.

I know that you can live two lives at the same time: that you can think of yourself as a success and as a failure, and that it can change from moment to moment. I find that oddly positive. It’s like a gift. A message that things can quickly switch. My novel has been out only three weeks. I know there is more media promotion and touring to come. But I also know what to do about the whole issue of success.I put my head down and I work on a new novel. I call my friends to come have lunch.

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