. Sometimes, when he would pick up the kids from an activity like summer day camp, staff would regard him with suspicion. And it’s been hardest of all on the kids. They have told us how self-conscious they feel, and wonder why they have to be different from everyone else.The truth is that people haven’t paid much attention to our last names, starting with the birth certificate lady who didn’t bat an eye when we told her what to put on the form.
Yet we heard through the grapevine that some members of both families were puzzled and unhappy. Our choice was outside of their experience. It seemed contrary to the natural order, as if we had announced that my husband was the one planning to give birth. At which point we will offer one or more of the following reasons, depending on our mood and the vibe we get from the person asking:
The extended family on my dad’s side is tiny, with almost no one else to carry on the name. This isn’t the case in my husband’s family, where his surname will endure for generations even without our help.That’s cool, most people will say. Good for you.
Honestly wish I had thought of it 24 years ago when I had mine. We weren’t even married at the time so even conventional wisdom wouldn’t have questioned using mine. Just knew I was keeping him around so I went with how I was raised. Bummer.
I wish I had stuck to my guns in ‘09 and did just my last name and not hyphenated. It’s was the first big fight we had. Clearly he wasn’t aware of who he married. Our kids just drop his name on school work anyways cause it’s too long to hyphenate.
DH took my birth name when we married 8 yrs ago. MIL--who had been divorced from DH's fx for 20+ yrs &was remarried herself w new husband's last name--threw a 🤬 fit. Until she died, she refused to acknowledge DH's name change w respect, same w our cx.
People in Mexico are always that way named .
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