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Paul Manafort Trying To Ferment Vintage Cheval Blanc In Toilet Tank

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NEW YORK—Hoping to replicate the Bordeaux wine’s rich flavor profile, Paul Manafort reportedly attempted to create an approximation of a vintage Château Cheval Blanc Tuesday by using a toilet tank to ferment various liquids he had squirreled away inside his prison cell. “It definitely has that oakiness I’m going for, but it still tastes a little more acidic than the ’49,” said Manafort, who according to sources decanted the Robitussin–fruit cocktail blend into a plastic cup, took a sip, and smacked his lips, praising the beverage’s “fecal undertaste.” “I don’t know if it could quite hold its own against an early ’50s reserve, but it’s as close as I’m going to get to a drinkable vintage in here. I could probably charge three cartons of cigarettes for just one plastic baggie of this stuff. It would pair excellently with tonight’s Nutraloaf.” At press time, reports confirmed Manafort was in hysterics after accidentally flushing his creation.

 

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I've said this before, but the news read the keywords and screwed up the story. Mana Fort: Objective in Blizzard_Ent 's Heroes of the Storm. Mueller: Famous airport in Texas. Someone played Heroes of the Storm at the airport and it caused a ruckus. Stop fronting shit.

Don’t poo poo toilet wine...

There’s going to be some rather interesting undertones with that wine

“fecal undertaste” 😂

A nice Chianti might have been a better option.

High taste in low places. Next time have someone shit you out a bottle. Same place different method.

Not too dry, a little smoky with a nice E.coli finish

Not funny...Manafort was railroaded on exclusionary evidence. “Mueller” and his “Report” should be in the dumpster by now

Paul Manafort has friends on the inside .The one greasy guy named Pootie gets him Cheez Whiz( a high end item )and Terranetti’s hoagie rolls . Manafort eats a jar and a bag of rolls a day causing him undue heart palpitations. I have a separate family and hate my kids and wife .

Cheval blanc! How Rive Gauche! I don't know what I just said, but Manafort's been livin' off of toilets his entire professional life.

What a morbid “mattress”

Blanc is white. Hes good with the whites

Sprinkle a little of your bullshit in there for an added kick. Honest... you'll love it

ComfortablySmug

cato218 Pairs well with stale mac 'n cheese.

TheRickWilson HE IS THE NEW WINE MAKER FOR trumpwinery !

TheRickWilson

An extremely difficult task when your cellmate is constantly taking a 2 in the tank and turning it into a cheap form of 'prison sangria'...

Now that’s funny hahahahaha

TheRickWilson

Sigh...people...it won't work, how will he do micro-aeration?

And a pigeon feather jacket

He gonna own that place.

I’m sure someone would at least provide him with the urine of a Cheval Blanc.

'Tell the president I'll be there to manage his 2020 campaign!'

So TheRickWilson Incase you’re wondering what he’s up to these days

The man can't help but flourish.

Toiletrie at its finest.

Paul Manafort jailed for real reasons would be another great satire story

This is awesome.

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