Patterns: How Neurology Can Save Relationships

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Much of what we do and say is determined by hidden neurological patterns. Ignore them and you're inviting conflict. Understand them and you can have better control of your life.

Many of our most destructive interactions can be avoided by understanding their patterns.If you understand how the brain builds memories, you can adjust rather than be controlled by patterns.Patterns are everywhere, from the movements of the smallest insect to the rotation of planets. You’ll find them in Bruce Springsteen’s. You can see patterns in how termites construct their dwellings in California, New Jersey, and Texas despite never exchanging blueprints.

If neuroscientists are correct that the brain stores information in chains and chunks, then it is possible that tripping that first domino brings about the inevitability of an uncomfortable night on the couch. Yes, counseling and ormay be appropriate to uncover an interaction pattern that culminates in accusations. But that long-term solution may not help you get a good night’s sleep tonight. Eliminating triggers and disrupting the pattern will be much faster.

 

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