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Parents Trying To Gauge If Son Complete Idiot Before Deciding Whether To Move To Better School District

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AUSTIN, TX—Saying they’ve been keeping a close eye on their 4-year-old’s skill at memory games, the breadth of his vocabulary, and his overall behavior, local parents Greg and Lisa Weiss told reporters Thursday they’re trying to gauge if their son is a complete idiot before deciding whether to move to a better school district. “We don’t want to make any rash moves right away, so we’re going to wait to see if Ethan’s too stupid to actually benefit from better educational resources and a higher teacher-to-student ratio before we start looking at pricier real estate over in Briarcliff or Lakeway,” said Lisa Weiss, who added that she and her husband don’t want to go through the hassle of selling their current house, moving into a smaller and more heavily taxed property, and building an entirely new network of friends in a town they’re not familiar with if their boy is just going to end up being a simple-minded dolt anyway. “It’s not that we don’t want the best for him, we just don’t know if he’s going to be helplessly dumb, in which case his current school district is totally fine. It’s just really hard to tell right now if he’s a moron or not—he definitely likes story time and is curious about how things work, which is encouraging, but he also sucks on his shirtsleeve all the time. So we’re going to give it a few more months and make a decision then.” Weiss emphasized that while they deeply hoped their son turned out smart, they wouldn’t mind staying in their affordable neighborhood and pocketing the extra disposable income should their son prove to be a huge dingus.

 

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Ironically, parents like that are exactly the type to have genius children.

ok but if the son is a 'complete idiot' would a different school district change that, or...

It take me a while to realize what you saying. And type. But even in this broken wind I offer more than you take this past moon. 🙅🏿‍♂️👨‍👦‍👦👯‍♀️

'*Sob* When he and I were critiquing early matisse, he said 'the modèle of his lines were derivative of the neo-classicists and their pastel insouciance' *the mother buries face on husbands chest and wails profusely*'

Well, he Is their son....

I'm the complete idiot son

Spoiler: He stupid

'I mean, yeah, every child's special & talented & yada yada yada or whatever. But, we're talking real estate here.'

The day juniors parents realized they ‘bred a spawn of satan’

Risky. Sometimes full blown idiocy doesn’t happen until they grow up and become President.

he’s just like his father

Maybe they should have an abortion? Mark Meadows, Tom Cotton what do you think?

If he puts that marker in his mouth, then yes.

What about all the potentially 'gifted' children that I see that have 'Complete Idiot' parents?!? I know this is Onion.

Hey, but one day he to could be POTUS

Is a

JonanthanBloggs Which was it?

Canceled. Just make him work at snopes

Canceled. Just toss him in the Chokey

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