When a child is upset, don't be too quick to immediate pointing out that everything is"okay"—first, make sure they know their feelings are valid."Your kid is crying because he's not okay. Your job is to help him understand and deal with his emotions, not discount them," Jenn Berman, Psy.D., author of"Try giving him a hug and acknowledging what he's feeling by saying something like, 'That was a scary fall.
"It is highly damaging because there are numerous take-away lessons, such as: 'What you feel doesn't matter to me or anyone else,' and, 'The fault is yours because something is wrong with you.'"If your child doesn't want to leave their friend's house or the park, it's tempting to threaten them by saying,"I'm just going to leave you here then," knowing it will probably get them to move. But Dr. L.
that doing this can make them feel less secure. It makes them believe you may not always be there to protect and take care of them, and the thought that you may leave them alone is very frightening.Yes, your child may be driving you up the wall, but consistently telling them to leave you alone when you need a break could damage their way of thinking about spending time with you. They'll internalize that message, according to Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.
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