Bad test results can teach us valuable lessons. The parents implicated in the largest alleged college-admissions conspiracy federal prosecutors had ever encountered were shielding their children from developing vital qualities like grit and resilience, experts say.
“But, especially now that the scam is public, the message that they’re sending their kids is, ‘I don’t have faith that you are capable of succeeding based on your own skills and hard work, and I don’t believe you’re strong enough to cope with disappointment,’” she said. Robert Brooks, a clinical psychologist and the author of “Raising Resilient Children,” agrees. “They’re not permitting their kids to learn how to deal with setbacks and obstacles, or how to cope with stress,” he told MarketWatch. “All kids are going to face obstacles and disappointments, and if they learn to cope with it, that only makes them stronger.”
The long-term consequences of handing your kids everything and helping to rig the system in their favor include self-entitlement, heightened “tension with the universe” and less wisdom, said David Palmiter, a professor of psychology at Marywood University in Scranton, Pa. That formula can put kids at greater risk of conditions like substance abuse, eating disorders and depression, he said.
Encourage them to choose “hard goals,” not mediocre ones. “When you’re constantly picking easy goals or no goals or just being reactive to life, you don’t end up having a score card that says, ‘I can do hard things,’” Miller said.
Source: Education Headlines (educationheadlines.net)
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