Our 3-year-old son, Khalil, is exactly as reasonable as he should be, which is not at all. He is scared of things that aren’t all that risky ― like the sound of the washing machine ― and completely unfazed by things that could actually harm him ― like jumping enthusiastically under a countertop.
Over the last few weeks, many of us have been confronted with the fact that the systems we thought were in place are not. We’ve had to sift through all available information about COVID-19 ― the disease caused by the new coronavirus ― and make our own decisions, something we aren’t prepared to do. When it comes to public health and epidemiology, we are all basically toddlers.
In a recent social work class, my professor, Dr. Elizabeth Anable, mentioned she is noticing that her therapy clients are upset about the pandemic but that they are further distressed because our government’s failures and confusion were bringing up earlier parental traumas. We spoke after class about her observations.
Grief, betrayal, fear, loneliness and pain can lodge themselves in our bodies, and when we encounter a situation that reminds us of distressing moments in the past, our bodies and brains snap to attention, ready to do anything they can to protect us from being hurt again. We are triggered. Some tools that Anable suggests to help turn down the volume on your fear are below. These are helping me filter through some of my feelings of overwhelm so I can focus on the present situation and not be flooded by all of the emotions connected with every time I’ve been afraid in my entire life.
4. I’m orienting my body to turn down feelings of anxiety. Tap your arms and say, “These are my arms.” Wiggle your toes and pay attention to how that feels. Put on socks and notice where they touch your feet. Today I meditated and felt my breath moving in and out.
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