Older Americans often don't prepare for long-term care, from costs to location to emotional toll

Nancy Gag Braun points to a small urn holding the ashes of her late husband Steve Braun, in her Mankato, Minn., bedroom on May 13, 2024. After caring for Steven at home became too much for her to handle, he was at the hospital while they waited on a long-term care placement. I cried many nights, Braun said. I felt so guilty. – Seven tough weeks passed with her husband in the hospital before Nancy Gag Braun found long-term care for him.

While she’s grateful for the care he received there, it wasn’t the long-term stay she expected. Steven died at the age of 78 on Nov. 23, 2022, six weeks after coming to the facility. Finding the right long-term care option, in many cases, comes down to who has an open slot and can accommodate a particular person’s needs. As Braun found out, not many places would take her husband because of his complex behavioral condition.

Companies offer similar services to help people search for the right fit. One site, A Place for Mom, uses a mix of residents, resident families and industry experts to rate facilities on a variety of metrics.John Landas’ hunt for long-term care for his parents started with an online search. From there, he visited facilities, sought information from friends and used his intuition to inform the choice that he and his parents made.

“I’ve said a thousand times, they don’t prepare you for this,” he said. “I’ve lost my mom. She passed away a month ago. My dad has dementia. Until you’ve lost a loved one, a parent, you don’t realize how hard it is.”

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