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Nuclear Scientists Fucking Around In Friend’s Backyard Run Away After Stuffing Fission Bomb Into Coke Can

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LOS ALAMOS, NM—Giggling as they made sure the atomic explosive’s tritium-deuterium ignition module had been properly engaged, nuclear scientists employed at Los Alamos National Laboratory were seen sprinting away from ground zero after stuffing a fission bomb into a can of Coca-Cola in a friend’s backyard Friday. “Oh shit, dude, it’s going supercritical—Run! Run!” said fissile materials researcher Mark Chalmers, Ph. D., ducking down behind a picnic table as his fellow pranksters recorded the 17-megaton detonation on their smartphones to upload to YouTube later. “Oh man, this is going to be so fucking sweet. We should put one of the Davy Crocketts in a cantaloupe next; [Department Head Dr.] Kevin [Agajanian]’s parents aren’t coming home until 4:30, so we’ve totally got time.” The researchers were later seen trying to blow away the resulting 12,000-foot tall enormous mushroom cloud after hearing a car pull into the driveway.

 

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Just goes to show ya, those who live in deserted nuclear silos shouldn't throw sub-atomic particles

Keeps happening to me

Someone’s going to lose their centrifuge privileges

S0N1Czzz I'm guessing this is why the nuclear hand grenade never really caught on.

For some reason this makes me think of Drakle_Studios NakaiCanon protect your keep!

I certainly wasn't a nuclear scientist but, as a chemistry major at a prestigious university, my buddies and I did this sort of thing all the time.

the first seven words are my dream job

peers omigawds! Is that 'friend' Doogie Howser?

'Stuffing' = Bad 'Fission' = Worse 'Bomb' = *Face-palm* 'Coke-Can' = WTF

Ahahah! It's going to take hours to clean this up! :-D

Fallout be like

. So that’s what Coke has been building up to, eh ?

tonight's big loser

meanwhile theonion drops the f bomb... i like it

THAT'S IT! *still looking for fun things to do at my next birthday party*

BlueHusky2154 CryloTheRaccoon StormyFoxxo were you involved

HOLY SHIT MOM JUST PULLED IN THE DRIVEWAY

My neighbour's drunken barbeque

We need to get this swine and I mean soon.

It's all fun and games until someone loses a city.

wkette06

KasikCamden

How did it fit in a Coke can 😂

It is refreshing to read a headline from The onion these days and actually no it’s a joke

Here hold my beer.

When one of them got their leg caught in the fence, they cried 'Get Mom!' To which one of them ran off shouting for mom. Another one made it home, and hurriedly closed the door. When asked by his parents what was wrong he simply said 'nothing,' ran upstairs, and locked his door.

Oops!⚛️😎

that’s not how backyards work

btarg3 willynibblet I just had to walk away from my desk

This new micheal bay movie is looking great

When they get caught:

Look I was just splitting the molecules to craft beer and boom

Looks like you hired JonMcNaughton to do this illustration.

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

DoomsdayClock

It was only a matter of time.

Did they lick the coke can? NuclearAnthro

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