FAIRFAX, VA—In the wake of Monday’s tragic Nevada school shooting in which a 12-year-old student killed a teacher and wounded two classmates, representatives from the National Rifle Association pushed for all teachers around the country to keep a loaded gun pointed at their classes throughout the school day.
“The only way to ensure safety in our schools is to make sure teachers hold fully loaded firearms at students from the moment they walk into the classroom until the moment they leave,” said NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre, explaining that educators should, at the very least, point one 9mm semiautomatic pistol at the class while also keeping a concealed .357 magnum revolver and several spare cartridges of ammo nearby at all times.
Source: Education Headlines (educationheadlines.net)
jenUK1 I tried to read this out loud to my husband but I was laughing hysterically to the point of tears till my face hurt and I had to stop 🤣
How else are you going to keep them inline?
'The Onion' is ALL parody. Look it up.
SAT ire!
yeah they do
How else can we keep our kids safe from being shot at school? Logic is irrefutable except by logic.
Bang Bang
this is literally what it feels like to be a child
My bad.
This may sound crazy but hear me out. Point grenade launchers at them. Bad guys may have large guns.
This is the one to solve it. I can feel it.
Hard to tell parody from reality ...
I needed a gun pointed at me to accept that they actually use exclamation marks in math.
we should cut out the middleman and just arm the kids tbh
AndyRichter That'll learn them!
Sentry guns in all schools.
I don't like the fact that the school board dictates what type of gun I'm allowed to use in MY classroom! I want to use my own personal firearms, not some shitty district issued Springfield Hellcat, just because a board member is friends with the distributor.
While teaching dinosaurs 🦖🦖🦕🦕 were saved by Noah, that slaves enjoyed being slaves, and young girls (under 18) really do want to marry 30 year old men.
This is going to be prophetic, isnt it...
lol
Tools for student engagement
With Math defeating Ammo.. No Calculations even those of Number-G will pass
The NRA is finally getting something right.
I'm going to have to learn to write with my right hand. Dammit.
Ah the “Sit Down and Shut Up or I’ll Kill The Bunny” technique.
Man I can think of a few of my teachers way back when who would’ve been more than happy to have a gun in the classroom. Nothing to do with psychos breaking in either. The psychos were already in the classroom seated at their desks. 😂😂😂📚📖
Now Who wanted Gun Control?
I’m sure GregAbbott_TX would suggest snipers hiding in the vents.
Didn't they just allow that in Ohio
Yes, please.
Lol
That is stupid, what happens if the teach fires the gun by mistake and kill a child or children what happens then.
I won't be surprised,🤦
That would not surprise me. The only way for a teacher to be ready for the gun man is with their weapon in hand and all attention on the task. Teaching interferes with that vigilance
AndyRichter
Forget the gun, sure sign this teacher is off her rocker is that lesson on the board! ; )
We are living in the worst timeline.
ClaraJeffery They will, then, pay attention
I'm sure she'll find a teacher's pet to hold it for her.
Yes! Finally a gun control measure that makes sense!!!!!!!!
I forgot how the NRA controls America. Stepping it up huh? More guns are in America than people.
Pretty much😒
AndyRichter Safety on or off ?
hatenscorpions
Not gonna lie here... LEGIT, if my teachers would have done THIS...i would have been a MUCH 'Better' student in class.
'Why *bang* haven't *bang* you *bang* finished *bang* your *bang* homework? *bang* And I don't want to hear ‘I'm dying.’ That excuse is old.'
Then nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure.
JFC, this is nasty funny!
Teachers everywhere getting ready for school.
TheChrXs_ Ore_TheBoss you'll enjoy this satire 🤣
You better get this answer right.
DF
Where's the parody?
You can never be entirely ready
Well, that’s one way to keeps their attention…
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