New Historical Evidence Suggests Most Pilgrims Sailed Back Home To Celebrate First Thanksgiving

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BOSTON—In what seems to suggest acute homesickness among the colonists, historians at Boston University said on Wednesday that newly uncovered documents indicate that most pilgrims sailed back to Europe in the fall of 1623 to celebrate the first Thanksgiving at home. “What we see from personal diaries and ships’ logs is that the majority of these settlers, rather than stay put and observe the holiday in Plymouth, decided to brave the three-month journey back across the Atlantic to be with family and friends,” said professor Willa Sinclair, adding that the few pilgrims who remained in the New World either couldn’t afford the trip or refused to go if their father was bringing his new girlfriend. “They were willing to endure the crowded, often horribly delayed ships for a taste of their mother’s home cooking complete with all the traditional Thanksgiving fixings.” Sinclair went on to say that from the second Thanksgiving onwards, however, many Pilgrims decided to just go out for dinner and be done with it.

 

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These pilgrims spent half their lives on boats

Or had a pit roasted tough as hell wild turkey.

The bowling team was deliberately left behind.

AAA reported a record number of travelers that year.

They were like 'wow, this new world sucks. We're going back to Europe to celebrate Thanksgiving!'

And refused to wear life jackets

Half of them died before they even started building shelters on shore

What 'Evidence'?

And, still, they had to make a stop in Atlanta

...with their dirty laundry. 😒

During a smallpox outbreak no less!

That was one wild Wednefdaye

If the originators did then we have to!! Seeya in Africa peeps

Yes that's right. The English went back home and tucked into Fish & Chips followed by Spotted Dick & Custard. 😋

Rather than stay put and observe the holiday in Plymouth, decided to brave the three-month journey back across the Atlantic to be with family and friends in *checks notes* Plymouth.

Onion writers sit around a table and say 'what is obvious but isn't being addressed?'

Good for them. Sounds like things were way better in Europe at the time.

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fuck that's good

ok

Wrong. Wrong. The pilgrims stayed and ate with the Indians. We honor that every year. Nice try though.

flights are pretty expensive i don't blame em

Flights back then were even more expensive

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