. It causes you to fixate on what is wrong with you instead of what is right. It prevents you from seeing the very things you need to see in order to build self-confidence. Every time you notice the inner critic speaking in your head, talk back to it and tell it to go away, tell it you are ending the relationship, tell it you are no longer going to listen to it anymore.
2. See what is already there. Your inner critical voice has been keeping your blind to who you really are. The second step is to see what has always been there. Look back at the things you have accomplished in your life. List as many successes and achievements as you can think of. Then find one or two other supportive people who you know and trust, and ask them to name as many of your successes and achievements as they can think of.
Once you have your list, write down as many positive traits and characteristics you know you have that helped you achieve those accomplishments. Then start growing your list forward. Start adding every win you get to it. They don’t have to be huge things. A positive comment from a co-worker about something you did or feeling good about a great workout would be a perfect thing to add to the list. Try to write down at least three to four things a week.
3. Practice self-kindness. Now that you are booting the inner critic out of your life, you will need a new best friend. A positive inner voice that is soothing and self-compassionate. This voice isn’t going to let you off the hook, it is going to be more honest with you than the critic because the critic was mostly. But instead of speaking to you in an abusive way, it is going to sound more like a loving kind parent who wants the best for their child.
4. Acknowledge your own journey. Mark Twain once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” One of the most destructive ways you kill your self-confidence is when you compare yourself to others and make the faulty assumption that you should already be somewhere other than wherever you are. Comparing yourself to someone else doesn’t take into account the fact that you have completely different life experiences, biology,, etc. People don’t come out of the starting gate all in the same place.
Fantastic article. However, The Atheist Asshole™ is here to note that you should definitely NOT stop that critical inner voice if that voice is challenging your belief in god. This has been a public service announcement.
Oh, boy. Not good enough? I get reminders of that every damn day. While the inner voice is relentless, it’s backed up by facts and figures.
Take it from a researcher with PTSD, that 'voice' can be silenced... THIS episode can stop... so can the next... What EMOTION is that? TARGET THAT EMOTION... it can stop. My video on why emotions keep coming up at us:
It is a type of psychosomatic event... the subconscious 'plays devil's advocate'... it is a type of FLASHBACK... a type of TORMENT... and the technique works on Torment, itself...directly... check out my blog...
If anyone is interested in the technique or my research, I invite you to learn more about it on my blog: My Ebook of my 10 years of research teaches the technique: As does my paperback-
These are some things the technique works on... suicidal thoughts, flashbacks, panic attacks, Aggravation, Anger, Hate, Hostility, sadness, grief, guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, Fears Stress, Intimidation, Shyness, Worry, Horror, Terror, Panic and MORE.
5... use a technique on the EMOTION that inner voice is showing you. MINE was showing SUICIDAL THOUGHTS... I stopped it by using the technique on the despondency and despair of the 'death and dying' CRUD it was blaring at me... did not take long...
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