WASHINGTON—In their latest effort to educate and prepare the public for crossing the path of the ubiquitous rodents, the U. S. National Park Service released a detailed guide Friday advising visitors on what they should do if they encounter a squirrel.
“Movies such aswould have you believe that squirrels are friendly, mischievous at worst, with absolutely no thirst for human blood or history of carrying off infants only to climb up trees with them and eat their pink little heads as if they were apples. But remember, these are feral animals, perfectly adapted to survive and thrive in a harsh environment.
every one know u have to watch out for them squirrels
Keep at least one hand on your nuts at all times.
No one from the Onion has obviously been attacked by a wild squirrel. Thid is completely necessary and wish it was true 😩
I'd love to mace a squirrel or two. Bastards are always stealing my nuts.
Cute sponsors of our next pandemic 🧡
SausageArmyHQ ☝️
HippySquirrel I was terrified at this encounter....lol
There is nothing you can do
I prefer lethargic squirrels.
put it in your mouth
ibikeheathfield
TheAuthorGuy
Shoot to kill, of course.
Ask 'where is moose, sqvirrel?'.
Do not form a band under any circumstance
Easy - climb a tree! Then, when you're at the top of that tree, leap to the next tree. This will in most cases confuse the squirrel.
If you see this sign you better be ready for a knife fight.
This is nuts
Just don't make eye contact.
Run!
Butt this horse in the hospital they still cant explain how to get rid of...
unbeatablesg
TheAuthorGuy
Lol danger no catch and keep as pets🤣 cutest animals to live.
FJM_9
6bq9music It’s really not complicated. Just pay the park entrance fee in quality nuts. SquirrelTax
At twilight today, I saw something that looked like a spider as big across as a soccer ball. Turned out to be a squirrel. Just serendipity and underlining the serious threat squirrels pose to single travelers
Unironic versions of that sign exist at least in Japan.
Foiled again!
And watch out for those pesky Squirrelnadoes!!
lol
Pull your pants up before they see your nuts. O the humanity when they see your nuts, they go nutty.
Tasers...........or dynamite, if they're really big.
CraniumSquirrel
Play dead and soil yourself isn't it?
Run. 🏃🏻♂️🏃🏾♀️🐿️
Based on what I recently learned from thedollop the instructions are simple. Murder them.
Give it a cookie, not meth.
I had a squirrel in a tree barking at me. Lucky for me i steped back inside. Didn't even have to call 911. Be careful out there.
That’s nuts!
Watch your nuts
RUN!!!!!!
This is why Americans need weapons because of dangerous Squirrels
Belt up your pants for starters?
Went a fur piece on that one. We thank ya
😂😂 okay
Wear a cup
Our park also has mad rabbits warning signs
Idubbbz
oniquet
take advantage of your 2nd amendment rights
I didn’t take the prerequisite course on what squirrels actually do.
Ask Idubbbz
Bout time.
Make loud noises and wave your arms...oh wait, no...that's for mountain lions...
Don't give them meth?
PolitiBunny Were you consulted?
Took them long enough. Squirrels are dangerous beasts
Is it not judt the stop, drop and role technique
Hire a turkey: Les résidants rapportent avoir vu de grands oiseaux omnivores de couleur sombre se percher sur les balcons, se promener sur les pelouses et chercher des graines ou des insectes sur les terrains de golf.
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