National Guard Returns To Endless Sleep Under Mount Rushmore Until Nation Calls Upon Them Again

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KEYSTONE, SD—Growing increasingly still as the haze of patriotism lulled them into an enchanted rest, the National Guard reportedly returned to their endless sleep underneath Mount Rushmore Tuesday until the nation was ready to call upon them again. “The National Guard issued a solemn salute to the flag before re-entering the sulfurous cavern to rest,” said Pentagon sources, recalling that the service members climbed inside George Washington’s carved rock nose to enter the monument. “Marching in lockstep, standing shoulder to shoulder, the National Guard stopped all at once and entered a deep slumber. Their uniforms, weapons, and bodies effortlessly camouflaging with the granite memorial.” At press time, the National Guard had already been awakened to quell protests in Portland.\n

EYSTONE, SD—Growing increasingly still as the haze of patriotism lulled them into an enchanted rest, the National Guard reportedly returned to their endless sleep underneath Mount Rushmore Tuesday until the nation was ready to call upon them again.

“The National Guard issued a solemn salute to the flag before re-entering the sulfurous cavern to rest,” said Pentagon sources, recalling that the service members climbed inside George Washington’s carved rock nose to enter the monument. “Marching in lockstep, standing shoulder to shoulder, the National Guard stopped all at once and entered a deep slumber. Their uniforms, weapons, and bodies effortlessly camouflaging with the granite memorial.

 

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That was why the star-spangled banner got stanzas.

Didn't they sleep in the basement/garage of the Capitol building...

so they're Team America

'If darkness falls upon our shores We the Guard will wake Upon our shoulders your hopes Beneath our boots your fears will break' Inscribed in the Pentagon activation beacon room in glowing letters.

in other news, chromatic tinctures procured from the deep recesses of earth's core crystal chamber, once applied to sleeping soldiers will alleviate insomnia under the mountain, and as a bonus for soldiers who die from lack of utilization, their bones can be used as xylophones.

Questions: can the Netherlands borrow them for a little while?

1:00 AM · 27 янв. 2021 г.· ТВОЯ ЦЕЛЬ ПРИЗЫВА ТАКОВА , ЧТО ПОЗВАТЬ ТЕБЯ МОЖЕТ ТОЛЬКО МОЯ БАБУШКА

That's pretty badass ngl

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