On Friday at noon, a new National Enquirer Live! theme park will debut a highly controversial attraction: a detailed reconstruction of Princess Diana’s tragic death. Viewers will be polled on who they believe was behind the iconic royal’s death.
A 2007-08 inquest blamed the crash on Paul, who was inebriated, and on pursuing paparazzi who allegedly used their cars to slow the princess’ vehicle, and who failed to help injured passengers after the crash, The Daily Telegraph reported at the time. The idea that Paul was blinded by a sudden flash is one of several offshoots of the “secret service” conspiracy theory.
“It’s definitely not in poor taste. It’s just showing the route of what happened,” he added. “It’s done in a positive fashion.... It brings attention to the different theories behind it that the Enquirer has covered over the years.”
Disgusting
Horrible
Sick.
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Live Nation buys owner of Echoplex and the Regent in a wave of acquisitionsLive Nation on Friday said it has acquired concert promoter Spaceland Presents and its Los Angeles music venues, the Echo, Echoplex and The Regent. The acquisition is the latest in a string of deals that Live Nation has made with Southern California music venues in the past year as the industry continues to consolidate. Oh no Gonna miss the Echo.
Source: latimes - 🏆 11. / 82 Read more »
Majestic Pine Recruited For Yosemite By National Park HeadhuntersYOSEMITE VILLAGE, CA—Saying that it would be an extremely valuable addition to the park’s current team of flora, headhunters from the U.S. National Park Service confirmed Friday that they have been actively recruiting a majestic white pine for an open spot in Yosemite Valley. “This is exactly the kind of tree we’ve been looking for to fill a key position among our evergreen vegetation—the second I laid eyes on it and saw what it had to offer, I knew it would make a great fit in our montane forest ecosystem,” lead recruitment specialist Mark Havey told reporters, adding that he had been impressed with the 40-foot pine’s ample needles, prominent bark, and long track record of growth. “We spent months looking at hundreds of candidates from all across the nation, and this particular tree clearly stood out among the rest. I can say this is the best cone-bearing, resinous tree we’ve ever come across. I just hope our offer of a generously stocked water table and a spacious clearing to itself is enough to get it on board.” The conifer had yet to make a decision as of press time, as it was reportedly weighing offers from Yellowstone, the Great Smoky Mountains, and a Rochester, MN mulch factory. Haha nice Pine boxed into a circular corner. National Park headhunters should be called 'hedgehunters'.
Source: TheOnion - 🏆 724. / 51 Read more »
Bleeding John Bolton Stumbles Into Capitol Building Claiming That Iran Shot HimWASHINGTON—Bursting through the Congressional chamber doors while moaning and clutching his shoulder, John Bolton reportedly stumbled into the Capitol building Friday claiming that he’d been shot by Iran. “Help, help, I’ve just been attacked by a large Middle Eastern country around 636,000 square miles in size,” said the national security advisor, telling those assembled that he’d just been minding his own business when an aggressive Islamic Republic had thrown him on the ground and shot him with a long-range missile. “Right after Iran shot me, I heard the nation laugh and say ‘Somebody stop me before I go on a homicidal rampage.’ It was acting crazed and irrational, and I could smell enriched uranium coming from one of its urban centers. Please, hurry, if we move quickly, we might still be able to catch it before it’s too late.” Upon further questioning, Bolton admitted that the incident had happened so fast that it was possible he’d been attacked by Venezuela or North Korea. With a Nerf blaster? Geppetto's evil twin. comedy gold here
Source: TheOnion - 🏆 724. / 51 Read more »
Media Condemns Julian Assange For Reckless Exposure Of How They Could Be Spending Their TimeWASHINGTON—In the wake of the WikiLeaks founder’s arrest by British authorities on behalf of the U.S. for charges stemming from the publication of classified military documents in 2010, members of the American media condemned Julian Assange Friday for the reckless exposure of how they could be spending their time. “We denounce Julian Assange in the strongest possible terms for his negligence in publicly demonstrating the kinds of work journalists could actually be doing to investigate government malfeasance and hold the powerful accountable,” said Washington Post editorial page editor Fred Hiatt, speaking on behalf of many of the leading members of the media who castigated Assange for never once considering the harm that bringing rampant government criminality to light no matter the consequences could do to other news publications’ reputations. “It’s abundantly clear that Mr. Assange was focused on exposing documented evidence of U.S. war crimes in Iraq and Afghanistan without so much as a thought for the journalists who faithfully parroted the U.S. military’s talking points when we could have been investigating information that ran contrary to that narrative—does he realize how that makes us look? The fact that he’d just publish information vital to the public interest from primary sources exactly as it was written instead of working with government officials to omit the most damaging parts in exchange for keeping access channels open is simply beyond the pale. The fact that the American public now knows what we’re actually doing day to day is incredibly harmful to this nation.” Media industry leaders did, however, admit that they could probably stand to go easier on Assange where the sexual assault allegations made against him were concerned. Illegally hacking? Every picture of Assange looks like a snapshot of a polaroid from 1977.
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National Enquirer opens museum with exhibits on O.J. Simpson, Michael Jackson and Princess DiThe tourist attraction has exhibits dedicated to some of pop culture's more sensational stories, such as the O.J. Simpson murder trial and even conspiracy theories surrounding the 1997 Paris car crash that killed Princess Diana. Donald Trump's Presidential Library is already open Will it be full of Russian Collusion Delusion? I heard Rachel Maddow’s tin foil hat was donated. No one will spend money tosee a museum based on lies.
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Dolly Parton's Dollywood theme park just opened a new $37 million attraction — take a lookDollywood — musician Dolly Parton's 150-acre theme park destination in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee — has opened a new kid-friendly expansion, called Wildwood Grove. It was inspired by Parton's 'daydreams and imaginations' from her childhood.
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Theme park LBO would be a low-thrills rideActivist ValueAct wants $4.3 bln Legoland-operator Merlin to sell itself to private equity. A new owner would need to splash out on fresh attractions and wait years before selling. The modest returns on offer suggest buyout groups won’t be queuing up to get on this rollercoaster.
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Prince William says he felt 'pain like no other' after Diana's deathPrince William has opened up about the loss of his mother, Princess Diana, saying he felt 'pain like no other' after her death in a car accident in 1997. Ownnnnn and we feel frustration the like of which he will never understand, about having an unelected arbitrary hereditary elitist monarchy who are deluded enough to believe that they were born to rule. idiots.
Source: CNN - 🏆 4. / 95 Read more »