"We thought our patrons were responsible enough to handle a self-service ketchup pump," said McDonald's CEO James A. Skinner, who claimed that fast food industry leaders were partially to blame for overestimating the maturity of the American public. "However, after watching the way you disgusting people behave when entrusted with a little independence, it's clear that we made a terrible mistake.
From now on, those seeking extra ketchup will be required to submit a non-stained written application."We tried to treat our customers like adults, and they took advantage of our generosity," said Burger King CEO John W. Chidsey, who was visibly upset after hearing that Americans use on average 14 ounces of ketchup per fast food meal.
In addition to specifying the reason for their request, customers will have to present fast food officials with two forms of valid ID, their social security number, and a signature from a third-party witness who can attest to there being enough remaining ketchup-free food to necessitate an additional packet. Only when all conditions are met will a patron receive a condiment voucher.Patrons requesting barbecue sauce to dip their fries in will be escorted from the premises immediately.
Source: News Formal (newsformal.com)
ItsTacosDude
Corporate surveys have identified October 31st as the worst offending calendar day in terms of the total fluid waste of ketchup. Local kids come in to add the bloody finishing touches to their zombie costumes by ordering a small french fry.
Haha. In Britain we have to buy it...
rcRevolver you did this to us!!!!
euankennedy01
Instead they gave us S'AWESOME Sauce.
trevorskies I did a study at Metro Tech. Fast food restaurants. Waste 2.5 billion dollars on wasted ketchup!
You don't know the 5th of it!
Damn they're onto me...
They should have learned from the Bacon bar fiasco of 96
It's causing a national ketchup shortage.
Some of our most important robot projects revealed! MIT
that Wendy's is stuck in the past
Americans are degenerates
They are too greedy! (The patrons, not the evil corporations) 😁
Sometimes I line my pockets with plastic to smuggle liters of ketchup back home.. My kids will be so sad now
Wendys You're the pictured target people. Shame on you for being cheap.
Back off my luv of ketchup their buddy 😂
Shit they’re on to me
Catch up papi elonmusk
These are energy exchanges.
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