NEW YORK—Looking forward to a new age of peace and prosperity, Americans across the country told reporters Monday that they were feeling hopeful for a better future when celebrity activists will finally shut the fuck up.
to Donald Trump’s tweets with some asinine bullshit. “I envision a new America, one where I never hear that Kristen Bell and Lin-Manuel Miranda teamed up for a video. One where80s sitcom stars don’t reunite to get out of the vote. Maybe we’ll finally reach a point where they put a goddamn sock in it for once.” At press time, the nation praised a new photograph of Zendaya and Woody Harrelson on a film set as a genuine sign of progress.
“Activists”
The_Acumen Especially bottom right.
M .... . L Lj
The onion spitting straight Facts.
Gal Had of is an activist? What a waste of nice thighs.
BlackMattShow1 scrubs looks like his health was sucked away by the rigors of life. fun quip bitch! cut to me scissoring a black man in scrubs
To be considered an activist you literally want change. Either socially or politically. Baio , Woods etc. don’t want change. Hence not activist.
commie_whore Leave zachbraff alone. He's awesome. Heaven forbid people use their fame for something other than walking the red carpet.
The onion always speak facts
When celebs stfu about politics
Millerheighife how dare you diss dr dorian?
Listen to them listen listen they’re important. This thread seems to indicate people believe actors are of some consequence.
God I hate rich people
Tweet of the fucking Year, man
We can dream
I didn’t know Sasha grey was an activist
I have a nice little streak of not using the F word on Twitter(a week or so). It’s been difficult this week too. Retweeting this doesn’t count, for the record.
Yes, we need this as a nation.
Holy shit! Ain't that the truth! 🤣🤣🤣
zachbraff
PaulSorrentino3 🤣🤣
coherentstates Except susan Sarandon she can keep it up. Cause i partly agree with her
danwon86 If the message is “I’m a celebrity, and I’m saying this, so you should agree with it”, whatever “it” happens to be, you can see how that might lead to problems in the long run.
I still love u zachbraff
LOL Thank you, Onion.
They've all gone to brunch
What a wonderful world that would be.
disco_socialist ffs don't give me hope
I don't know who these people are, but assume that I should
neontaster Imagine.
I disagree with using the f*bomb in social media, but in this case, amen!
NOT SATIRICAL. TRUE!
Meant as satire, but truth is we would see a whole lot more celebrity crap in a Harris / Biden era. The media would resort to a return of celebrity gossip and crash and burn stories like in the Obama years to fill the empty hours, where they used to make up bullshit about Trump.
LucasCoelhoDeco
neontaster If they could stop getting naked too, that would be great.
neontaster Nation also bracing for inevitable disappointment in that regard
At least zachbraff is funny
Leave JD alone! He’s fragile. zachbraff
Hollywood has a long history of activists plus Hollywood created Reagan and Trumo
Amen
Jesus christ I thought hollywood squares was heinous enough back in the day. That was only a half hour and easily avoided by fleeing outside. These fuckers won't stop. Ever.
amen, sister
'Imagine there's no haven its easy if you try' 🎶🎶
A rare typo in an Onion headline “Activists Celebrities”
I want to eat this onion
1 of the positives of the Trump era was the representation of people of colour increased in movies/the arts. It's still bad, but there was small progress (it's hard to shout racism when ur literally the most racist industry). Fascinating to see if it goes back to the bad old days
Damn I was hoping Gal Gadot would sing a song to cheer everyone up from her mansion that she doesn't have to work a day again in her life to keep while many are out of work wondering when their next pay cheque will come. She was so thoughtful doing that with her other richos
Ya, why should they be 'voicing' their 'opinions' on 'politics' in 'public'? Arrogant bastards! VoteDem!
Nailed it
Unfortunately Americans worship their celebrities and it's just about the best way to get them to listen.
Wishful thinking
All the LOLs
No.
If Alyssa Milano was exiled to a remote uninhabited island, the world would be a better place.
Finally!!! Something funny, I’ve waited my whole life for this
“Activists”
Especially the one who used to host a reality show on NBC.
This is still America right? Feel free to be anything you want except an asshole like the person who wrote this click bate.
Where the hell were stories like these BEFORE the election?
I suppose people could just, I dunno, not listen to them? Maybe.
bizlet7 I don't know who any of these people are
poor zach braff - he is one of the good guys!!!....😂😍
Once they find out Biden plans to make good on his promise having the wealthy 'pay their fair share;' watch how quickly they start wearing MAGA hats.
Oh thank GOD. I hope they stick to entertaining us instead of using their privilege to lecture us commoners.
Please God let this be true.
'Words speak louder than Actions.'- Activist Celebrities
Alyssa Milano should lead with this example
Maybe don’t use your imagined platform?
Looks like a hot 5some. Zach can run the camera. 😍
America’s dream for so many years
We can only dream.
But hopeful for more grassroots activism
ZBs cool 🙂
GappistanRadio Whos the first guy
Can Trump be first
Bold of you to assume they won't find countless other things to prattle on about
I don’t know who half these people are
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.