Nation Finally Stands Far Enough Away From Jackson Pollock Painting To Realize It Realistic Still Life Of Fruit

📆 12/11/2019 10:07 PM
📰 TheOnion

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NEW YORK—Straining their eyes from the opposite wall of the gallery, the nation finally stood far enough away from one of Jackson Pollock’s artworks to realize it is actually a realistic still life painting of fruit, sources confirmed Wednesday. “We thought it was just a bunch of different colors splattered across the canvas, but when you stand way back here you can see a photorealistic orange, pear and mango,” said the U.S. populace, marveling at Pollock’s masterful use of light on the gleaming pitcher sitting atop a tablecloth. “We were standing way too close before, but once we stepped back about 500 feet, it became obvious this was a classic still life painting. When other people would talk about how great Jackson Pollock is, we just nodded in agreement even though we didn’t really get it, but now we can see that he was really talented. It makes a lot more sense why we had to learn about him in school and why his paintings are on display in all those big important museums.” At press time, the nation was struggling to comprehend the newest piece of blurry nonsense Chuck Close had just debuted.

Source: Education Headlines (educationheadlines.net)

Write Comment

I knew it.

If you look at them unfocused you see a dinosaur.

As long as it's not that God damm banana and duct tape

vickymeasham4

What?

Fun Fact: All Pollock Paintings Are Meant to be Viewed With Your Eyes Crossed.

Belongs in the trash bin 🗑

🤭💕 ArtsMajesty 🎨

ccnipper

Have you never seen him work?

It ‘tis

It looks like a naked woman when your drunk & horny, like Pollock was most of the time.

His work is not as impressive as a banana duct taped to a wall:

There’s a typo in your funny headline.

AugieRice

If only.

Lol

That’s a long ways away Mr. Torrance.

He was laughing at us then and he is still laughing.

NOT FUCKING NOW, ONION. WE'VE GOT SHIT GOING DOWN IN THE UK

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