Nana J. Reclaims Top Spot From Gram Gram Following Exceptional Birthday Outing

📆 7/26/2019 9:20 AM
📰 TheOnion

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GUTHRIE CENTER, IA—Explaining how the matriarch had upstaged the competition with impressive decorations, thoughtful gifts, and delicious cake, area 9-year-old Lucy Astrid confirmed Tuesday that her Nana J. reclaimed the top spot from her Gram Gram following an exceptional birthday outing last week. “Gram Gram was certainly on top after getting me that pair of roller blades for Christmas, but Nana J. really swept in to win back her title,” said Astrid, noting how Nana J. allowed her to choose the restaurant where they dined for lunch then bought them tickets to a PG-13 movie along with soda and her favorite candy at the concession stand. “While the $20 check from Gram Gram was nice, it didn’t even come close. She’s really going to have to step it up if she wants to be back at number one.” Astrid also confirmed that Pop Pop remained floundering at the bottom of the list following his stroke last year.

Source: Entertainment Trends (entertainmenttrends.net)

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CodesMachine I thought you might be interested in this development

Tier list when?

More grandma power rankings please.

People ignoring that pop pop had a fucking stroke

b_pezzuti 😂

Let's settle this once and for all with a cage match.

shotsfired

No mention of Uncle Dickie. Or Auntie Ann. I guess keeping a blossoming gold digger happy got old.

Gram Gram wants a rematch.

Yeah, but she’s goin DOWN when she gives shoe-shining kits for Christmas AGAIN

Go Nana J!!! getsocial winning

see you all at christmas

Aw hell no we stan Gram Gram

Gram Gram is a Holocaust survivor. However don’t be fooled. She survived because she’s German.

It's about the candy. Or money for the ice cream truck.

Little Astrid doesn’t realize Pop Pop’s strike was the result of an auto erotic asphyxiation session gone slightly wrong.

'Nana?' 'Gram Gram?' Look, schmucks. What am I...chopped liver? 'BUBBE' is the only name I answer to! Oy, vey! Goyem! 🙄

Sounds like Pop Pop got the better deal in all this. At least now he can go back to his favorite recliner and be left alone.

The Onion has the best grandmother-related content.

Never trusted Nana J. She's got a dark past and a number of uniforms at the back of her wardrobe.

posts like this make me wish that dog never ate my grand mom

she cheated, those werent tums she had decorating the cake it was rolaids.

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