My stepdaughter, 42, hits up her father for $1,000 on a regular basis. It comes out of our joint savings account. How can I stop this?

Dear Quentin, I have a 42-year-old stepdaughter who lives with her 33-year-old fiancé on the West Coast. We live in middle America. She has never lived with us, and makes it known to her father that she felt abandoned by the divorce from her mother. We lived in the same city, and paid child support and more.

“‘His daughter always wants to use our savings as her bank account. She has no credit cards, and a terrible credit score as a result.’” She just asked for $1,000 that she says she’ll repay in two weeks. How do I get this adult woman to stop asking for “loans” — she rarely repays them, and they are not for an emergency — and urge her to start saving money just as her father and I did?You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.You can’t get this adult woman to stop asking.

Second, you can make sure that your joint savings account requires both signatures to withdraw money. That way, he will be forced into having an uncomfortable conversation and risk his daughter’s anger or, worse, rejection. But is a relationship that is dependent on one person getting what they want a relationship worth having? His actions are one of an enabler rather than a helper.

I trust your husband can respect himself, his marriage and his daughter enough to be honest with her. I also hope the relationships survives, and thrives.

Get your own account. Problem solved. Stay out of their relationship, too

Just say no. You are grown adult and need to figure out how to survive without us. We will not always be here. I tell this to my 22 and 26 year old daughters all the time. I don’t give them money. I tell them to figure out how to stand on your own 2 feet.

Remove ALL the money from the joint saivoy account....

thanks

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