My Late Friend Gave Me a Potentially Dangerous Heirloom to Pass to His Son

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Dear Pay Dirt: I feel extremely uneasy keeping such a valuable item for myself.

I think you should ask the mother why she doesn’t want her son to have the gun. If she mentions any history of self-harm, aggression, or anything similar, then you have reason to be cautious. But your friend intended for his son to have it as something that would be meaningful to the family, and absent any red flags that indicate that the son might not be capable of taking care of it responsibly, I think you have to honor your friend’s wishes.

There is a long-standing co-dependent dynamic here that I can’t solve. But it upsets me that my siblings continue to use my elderly mother to meet their obligations and that I am now, by covering her bills, helping make it possible for them to do so. My sibling continues to live in her house. I am not sure what, if anything, I should do. My mom is competent to make her own financial decisions, even if those decisions are bad.

 

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Pass the gun to the young man. I don’t think he is going to misuse it. It is such a treasure that is meant to be passed on to generations to come. Don’t deny him the precious gift

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