. In truth, even though it’s tough to say goodbye to Piper every morning, I also love cultivating the professional side of my identity again. So, maybe I’m actually feeling guilty for, well, not really feeling that guilty.The feminist in me loves the message it sends when I tell people that my husband is a stay-at-home dad—and rocking it at that. It sends the message that fathering matters. It sends the message that women’s careers matter, as do their pay cheques.
But the same feminist in me also cringes when my husband is praised excessively for doing things I was simply expected to do during my year at home . It’s the epitome of what Tal Peretz, a sociologist at Auburn University in Alabama, calls the “pedestal effect,” where men are put on a pedestal for adopting feminist beliefs or taking on tasks that are traditionally done by women. It’s true: My husband is made out to be a hero for playing with Piper, making heror giving her hugs and kisses.
Putting aside these musings for now, I follow Piper into the hall, scooping her up before she makes it back to my husband. I decide to try out this hat “thing,” grabbing and putting on the hat that was intended for my husband’s head and making a funny face. The whole spiel lands flat as Piper looks at me blankly. I’m just glad my husband didn’t witness this failed interception—another reminder of my inadequacies.. I continue to be these things as a working mom, too.
Later that evening, after vegan tacos are devoured , dishes are done, baths are taken and teeth are brushed, my husband kisses Piper goodnight and I carry her into her room. I put on her diaper and massage her little body with lotion, flaring my nostrils to make her erupt in laughter . We read Goodnight Moon and I sing her a repertoire of lullabies while she nurses.
“Love you, sweetie,” I whisper, laying Piper gently into her crib. She looks up at me one more time before closing her eyes without a peep. I slip out of the room, close the door gently behind me and pause before heading out to the living room to hang out with my hubby for the evening.
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