My friend’s husband pressured her to give up her job — and ‘lost’ her passport

I want to help a friend who is going through some challenges with her husband. My friend and her husband are both from India and work in the Pacific Northwest. They have twin daughters who are 2 years old. My friend’s husband appears to be a friendly and agreeable person, and has an exceedingly large circle of friends.

These discussions often end with “We should not interfere in their life” or “It’s her fight and she should push back and know what to do.” Though at some level, we may be unsure or unwilling to ruin our friendship with her husband. My friend recently told friends that her husband “lost” her passport and is not lodging a police complaint or getting a new one.

Unfortunately, all the signs are there. Your friend’s husband removed her source of income and ability to travel, and she is completely reliant on him for money. Financial control and a gradual dismantling of her self-confidence go hand in hand. Other signs include economic exploitation where the abusive partner forces their partner to take out a line of debt, or does so in their name.I’m extremely reluctant to conflate your friend’s husband’s cultural background and his behavior.

Domestic-abuse survivors must be financially prepared to leave, as escaping is only half the battle, says the Kansas City, Mo.-based law firm Hale Robinson & Robinson. They must support themselves once they flee the relationship, or their chances of success will fall. “Transportation, shelter, food, and funds for the ensuing legal battle must be obtained,” the firm adds.

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell: ‘I gave up a job that I loved passionately’: My husband secretly set up a trust that includes our home and his investments. What should I do?

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